To be or not to be.
Okay, don’t panic. I’ve not ran off to get married in secret, yet. Here I am, twenty five years of age, a newly engaged, Mother of one with a whole lot of prospects for the future – Marriage being one of those prospects added to the never ending list.
Whats the catch? Well, the thing is.. I don’t want a Wedding. I mean, I want to be married to my partner by all means but the Wedding is an unnecessary event and an expense that I don’t particularly want.
Here is the thing, I love my fiance and I truly am living the happy family life I have always desired. To be married to my best friend will be a dream, only the thought of a Wedding ceremony is quite disturbing. The thought of all the planning and running around makes me nauseated.
I, I mean.. we, have decided that when we choose to marry, whenever that may be, will hold a very intimate ceremony. A celebration between ourselves,there will be no big ordeal and most definitely no fuss.
I know that I’m talking Weddings but there is no rush to walk down the aisle. I mean, we have a child already. We’ve done this all back to front as it is. We have essentially eliminated the need to race to the alter. There is nothing to prove. Not to ourselves or anyone else.
When we do set the date and take our vows, I have opted to have a ceremony of as little as five guests in a local registrar office. I know, this may seem crazy to some of you out there. What type of woman doesn’t want the lavish ceremony of her dreams? The big special day that most of us dream of from the age of six?
I am not that person and I never have been. Weddings have never interested me, I dread having to attend them and marriage was never on my mind. I didn’t dig for an engagement and I could remain happily unmarried for life. Not because I don’t love my fiance, but because a a wedding is just an over the top event in my mind. No Wedding, no matter how big nor small can prove the love that you share with another. Unpopular opinion, I know.
I feel that proving your love to someone doesn’t need to be a massive ordeal. Especially when you know you are with this person for life (I have known since our first date). We have made a beautiful baby girl together and no Wedding can compare to the feelings, the love, the emotions that have already been accomplished. I can only hope to expand our family with time and continue to lead a happy family life. To focus our time, attention and love on our family life and ourselves comes first.
Sure, like any girl, I like pretty things, but I don’t care for a big Wedding and I don’t think I’m wrong not to care how we take our vows. I love my partner regardless of the location we wed at and how we decide to do it.
Hell, had we been in Vegas when Euan proposed, I’d have taken a drive through wedding with some strangers from the street as witnesses. Sorry, Mum. For me, my relationship is important, not the dress I wear for the day.
Why dont I want a Wedding ceremony you ask? Rather simply, I don’t want to spend my wedding day entertaining others or wondering if everyone else is having a good time. I want to hold the day as close to my heart as possible with as few people as possible. To enjoy the day with my partner and my girl and not to have to stress about pleasing others. Maybe that is my selfish side coming out to play.
Real romantic, huh?
I don’t need the whole all eyes on me wedding. I don’t want to be inviting cousins to my Wedding day that I haven’t seen in years. I don’t want the big white dress, the bridesmaids, the fuss and I don’t want the over expensive three course meal which is similar at every single wedding. A wedding is an opportunity for others to come together and get drunk.
Will the hassle and months of planning for the big day be worth it? I mean, will it even be remembered the following morning by guests when hangovers are being nursed and bodies are refuelled with bacon rolls?
Soup, roast dinner, sticky toffee pudding? Not for me.The thing is wether I need the big white traditional wedding or not, I don’t want it. They are all so similar to me, what difference is there from one traditional wedding to the next? The bouquet? The Ed Sheeran song that plays as the first dance?
I don’t want to spend days stressing and planning a wedding to become so blindsighted by planning that reality is taken away from me. I don’t want to focus all my attention on a wedding that may or may not leave me happy but most certainly leave me in debt for a long time.
I don’t want to hit the crash, post wedding where reality hits, the day is done, and suddenly nothing changes bar the Surname. Perhaps I’m a pessimist when it comes to relationships and their ability to withstand a Marriage. I’ve seen all too often the sadness that Marriage can bring and the difficulties that can occur. R
By the way, I don’t think by skipping the whole ceremony that makes me somewhat exempt to any marriage issues. I am fully aware wedded bliss doesn’t last forever or for any couple. We all have our problems.
A wedding doesn’t make or break a relationship and if you believe a wedding will make for a better relationship is a marriage really for you? I’m not going to judge how others plan their wedding and create the day of their dreams. I’m going to focus on creating the day of my dreams as small as that may be. It will be as wonderful to me as any wedding would be to another.
We can’t compare and criticise the way in which we choose to marry.
We are just two people, in love who will someday wed without the big scene and take our vows together as a couple. What could be more romantic? What more does one need?
After all, when the guests pack up and leave, all you are left with is each other and perhaps an array of unnecessary gifts to make space for from the John Lewis wish list. The scent of that Yankee candle won’t solidify your relationship, I’m afraid.
The dress,the awkward and touchy posed photograph’s and the unknown guests who you haven’t been in touch with since Childhood? I don’t want it. I want to wear a pretty dress, take my vows with only a room of five others and go out for a nice pub meal afterwards. I don’t even want a wedding reception. Hell, I have about three friends, what on Earth do I need an all singing and dancing reception for?
So that’s that, don’t be waiting for an invitation for a Wedding on our behalf because when the day comes, it will be special specifically to us. I’ll share the smartphone snaps with you all at a later date.
Now that I’ve shared my thoughts and plans for the not so big day I’m eager to here from you guys on this. Marriage is a big deal after all and a Wedding day is a day we all hold close to our hearts, I’m sure.
How did you spend your big day? Would you do it all differently if given the chance?
Lots of love.