Tag Archives: adventure

Eleanor Paisley Ross – Through the lens. Week one.

I have chosen to share some of my favourite photographs of Eleanor in her first week as a newborn. I couldn’t wish for a better baby, what a little gem. Yes, she cries. Yes, I have had sleepless nights but that’s all part of the package and the fun. I couldn’t have wished for a more content baby girl. My little acorn. 

I am completely smitten. 

The first days ♥

Snuggles with Dad ♥

Precious sleepy moments – as rare as they may be! ♥

Approving our engagement (I think) ♥



I can’t wait to document life with my baby girl, my new best friend and share my experiences, joy and photographs on a regular basis. The highs and lows. The good and the bad.

Family life is going to be an adventure,that is for certain.


Embracing the last few weeks of living as a couple. Taking time out with my man.

With my due date fast approaching, I have been keen to spend as much time with my partner as I can (in between naps and early bed times), doing the things which we love or doing nothing at all, it doesn’t matter, any time together is precious. It is so important to me that we take time out together and make the most of it whilst we can.


I know that when our baby arrives, we will be limited to alone time, there will be so much focus over our little one and adapting to family life that we won’t have the same time as we do now to give one another.  Don’t get me wrong, it will be amazing to be a family but I do think at times I will miss the days where it was just us.During the past few weeks, we have been squeezing in as much time together as we can. To embrace and look back upon with happy memories, especially with this being such an exciting time. I suppose you could almost call it a baby moon. A slightly extended and less extravagant baby moon. No holidays unfortunately, just staying local and making the most of each day and enjoying life together, all the while, learning more and more about each other by the day and scarily becoming more alike! We can now finish each other’s sentences or let out the same word in the same moment. Uh oh.

In recent weeks, we have enjoyed days off from work together, spent a weekend away in Edinburgh – which was so nice. A well needed break for the both of us. It is great to just walk around a new City and take it all in, watching people go about their own daily business. You could say this was the last holiday before baby, it was exactly how I wanted it to be. Dining out at a Thai cuisine, listening to live music in a small and cosy pub until late, coffee mornings and a trip to the Zoo with an evening tour of the Cities underground. I missed out back in May when Euan went out to Malaysia to visit family, I was intending to go with him and the trip had been booked for almost a year. Sadly, I was unable to travel with the risk of Zika virus and had time at home alone instead. Which, I may add was horrible. I did not take well to being alone and became a whole bag of emotions, crying most of the time he was away. Silly, I know.

It is important to me to spend time with loved ones and I feel that you have to put effort into a relationship all of the time, it doesn’t have to be a huge effort but showing support and love can go a long way. Often we can forget what is important and get too caught up with other things that go on from day to day. Work commitments and issues, daily stresses, family problems, etc. It can become very difficult to balance your life and all that comes with it, and can become too much. I want to be in a strong and healthy relationship, have my child grow up in a happy and loving environment. Family is all that most of us have and it is imperial we hold the ones we love close.

Besides a weekend away and various other days out we enjoyed a gig from Blink 182 at a local event venue. A blast from the past you could say and yes, at 33 weeks pregnant, I forced myself out to listen to some live music. We enjoyed greasy gig food and obviously picked up a T-shirt from the merchandise stall to add to the collection. As the evening went on, I did begin to struggle with back pain and tired legs from standing so we ended up sitting at the back of the crowd on the cold concrete floor and listening to the set end from the sidelines. A world away from the gigs I went to in teenage years. I had a great evening and I am sure Euan did too. Getting out and doing something a little different from the norm can make all the difference. A breath of fresh air and another memory to add to the bag. We can tell baby that her first gig was Blink 182. Pretty cool. 



We haven’t too much planned over the next few weeks, I wanted to keep things tame. I am becoming tired and sore, my knees begin to burn after long days so I think it is time to wind down and relax more. Off to see family this weekend for a night and we have booked to go out for a meal next month at my favourite Indian restaurant. I’m sure we will squeeze in as much cinema trips as we can which means lots of ice cream and pick n mix. Bonus. At this rate, the amount of time we spend at the cinema, I’ll be lucky if I don’t start labor during a screening.  I must say, I am excited to slow down and stop a little. To sit back and get ready to begin a new chapter. I can’t wait for my journey as a family to begin and to get stuck in my own little love bubble with the two people I will hold the closest. but for now, I am just enjoying the last days we hold together as a couple and falling more in love with my man than ever. I am very fortunate to have someone so genuine,good and caring by my side. I cannot wait for what family life will bring and to watch my best friend become a Father.




No nursery? No problem..

Hush little baby


I find myself spending a lot of my time looking and swooning over baby nurseries. With just mere weeks before my own child’s arrival due, I can’t help but look. A room decorated to perfection with so much attention paid to every single last detail. New parents awaiting their babies arrival, trying to get it right.

Preparing for a baby is an exciting time, emotions and hormones are all over the place and I have found myself buzzing around in a frantic state trying to get things perfect. Prior to the arrival of a newborn, you want everything to be perfect, to be ready, to provide the best start in life to your child. It is understandable that parents to be spend so much time in baby stores and home stores, decorating the home, the nursery to suit this tiny new humans taste. To have the home ready, to have a room ready for baby, a room fit for that little Prince or Princess. A room to be proud of. A room to represent this new change in lifestyle. It has to be right.

I have a very vivid image in my mind of how I would have wished to decorate a nursery for my baby. I would want everything to be pristine, clean, light and open. Minimalist but fitting. White oak furniture and a wicker feeding chair. A sheepskin rug and few shelving units. I have it all planned out.

The only issue; I live in a one bedroom flat. My baby does not get the luxury of a nursery. We have a ‘baby corner’ in the bedroom. Plastic drawers for storing supplies and materials, clothing and a cot bed. We cannot put any murals or paintings on the wall, due to risk of the wall crumbling above us. Not ideal. Not what I had in mind. Not what I would wish for my first child. but, at this time it is all that we have. We make do. I try to be happy.

I observe the nurseries of others and fill with envy. I wish to have this for my child, a room for my baby. A calm place to sit with them, a room to be alone and to bond. A room to make memories in, a place my child can grow. I thought that when I was to fall pregnant for the first time (I want to have three children), I would be newly engaged, in a good position within my line of work,moved into our first time family home – a real home. It would be the perfect start, the perfect time to welcome baby. A place to grow.



As I prepare to begin family life, I mull over the fact that this is not what I had in mind. Not my picture perfect heaven. Not how I had ever planned or imagined this to go. Not how I wanted to bring my first born into the world. I think about this and begin to feel sad. I will give a little insight, I reside in a one bed flat in a block of six. I live with my boyfriend and his dog. There is a communal garden, only it doesn’t really amount to much. The neighbors are quiet, just a few others reside in this block. A few flats lie empty. It is peaceful, little bustle.

I have tried to make our home a pleasant and cosy spot. To smell warm, to look cosy and to feel homely. I do my best with what we have. I try to have it lovely and I work hard to maintain things. To keep home in good order and clean. I suppose it is a place to call home, ideal or not, for now, it is all that we have.

I fear that this may be home forever. My child will never experience a bedroom of their own, we will remain living in an over crowded space and my family will never be able to expand or to grow. I can’t have three children as long as we remain here. My child cannot have friends round, we don’t have the space. At this stage, I feel uncertain of our living arrangements, the future and feel helpless. Will my position ever allow us a family home? The unknown worries and stresses me. I feel hopeless, there is little that I can do to better my family and our position. Will this be it? Is this all that I have to offer to my family, my child? Have I already set myself up for failure? Heartbreaking.

My baby is yet to take their first breaths of the outside world. I wonder what life will bring to them. What is in store? I hope for a happy and bright future, for that family home, for good health and happiness. I hope to better myself, to do well and work hard. To get myself into a better position and improve my families situation. I feel that I NEED to do well and succeed. It is not just about me anymore. I am about to become a Mother, I cannot fail my child. They deserve the world. If I could, I would give it to them.

I continuously examine what we have or don’t have for baby. I hope that what we have and what we have done so far will be enough. I hope that I can provide, love and nurture my child. To be the best mum that I can for them. This tiny human whom I can call my own. Right now, my inability to provide some things make me feel that I lack the ability to be a good Mother.

I know that I should be more positive, I have to be. I must be kind to myself but it doesn’t come easy. Especially not at this time, emotions running high, feeling tired. The unknown and fear of the future scares me. I do not know what life will bring. I do not know what I can bring or if the family home I have always desired will ever be in reach. It consumes me with sadness.

I hope to be more positive, for my mood to improve and to feel happier. To feel at peace with life as it stands and to take each day as it comes. After all, we can only work with what we have. This doesn’t make me a bad mum, surely? I am going to try to live in the moment, to think more happy thoughts and to shine through this darkness and fear. The say that good things come to those who wait. I guess I am yet to find this out. If waiting will get me anywhere, if waiting will provide for my family when the time is right. I hope that this is not all that life can provide.

I can only dream of a better future, that picture perfect future that I had predetermined for myself. I have to be thankful and grateful for this time. I feel like I should feel happy, I should feel content and filled of joy but it can be tough. I try. In the mean time, I can only work on doing what I can and being the best that I can. The best Mother, daughter and girlfriend.

     Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction, ends up being the biggest step of your life.





Preparing for baby; a sea of emotions. A lifetime of exhaustion.



I find my mind ponder over family life. As I sit here around the kitchen table, tired, alone,uncomfortable and a little sore I wonder what is to come next. In my third and final trimester and about to hit the 31 week mark, I can’t help but think about welcoming baby into the world and starting family life at long last.

Thirty weeks down and just a few short weeks to go, I feel so ready yet uncertain to begin a new start. I just want to hold my baby and start that lifelong bond. To start a new life. To begin again as a family.  To explore a new love, a love that is said will last forever. To discover a new routine. To settle.

I am at the stage where I have began to slow down. Things I could previously do with ease are becoming more of a struggle by the day. Tying shoes, emptying the washing basket, simple household tasks, walking distances. I feel a fraud to complain about such minor things and how tired I feel. Daily tasks are becoming a chore and the tiredness is like nothing I have experienced before. I try to keep up with my lifestyle, to get the same exercise in, to rush around, buzzing about from morning through to night when I rest my head on the pillow. but my body is telling me to slow down. To relax, take a break (or ten). The strain is starting to creep up over me and I am left feeling a little useless.



At thirty weeks, I feel my body deflating and taking a hit.Overworked and definitely exhausted, I think it is finally time to start to chill out and take a back seat. To relax and to embrace relaxation, something I don’t really know how to do. I can’t even sit through a movie at home never mind chill out. I always have to be busy. Daily tasks will have to wait and rest should be welcomed. The hoovering CAN wait. Nothing bad will happen if I don’t do it for one day.

I must begin to prepare my mind for baby and gear up to become a parent. Nobody ever teaches you what you need to know about becoming a parent or how to prepare for such a life changing event. It’s no subject taught in school. How can I prepare? Does motherhood always come so naturally? Does that maternal instinct take over as soon as you set eyes upon your newborn? A child you have nourished and grown for the best part of a year.

  “A moment a child is born, a mother is born with them”

  Questions fill my mind at this stage about motherhood. There is little else I find myself thinking about to be quite frank. Becoming a new parent brings with it so much thoughts. So much anxiety, nerves and emotions. Will I be a good mother? Will I know what to do? Will my baby bond with me? My child grow to love and appreciate me as I will them?

Parenthood is stepping into the unknown. There are no manuals to prepare oneself for this with, every experience is different. No one person gives the same advice, the same tips. It can be overwhelming. There are masses of information for first time parents out there, so much material to wrap your head around. Where to begin? What information is legitimate?  What articles stand true to form? Can I relate my experience to that of anyone else when each pregnancy, each parent, each child is so different?

My emotions are at an all time high, ever changing through the day. Happy, sad, anxious, excited, scared. You name it, I’m feeling it. At such a prime time in life, with so much going on, I suppose it is understandable to feel this way. A mixed bag. Uncertain of what is to come. Of how to prepare. To step into the unknown is daunting yet thrilling. I don’t know if any amount of preparation will set me up for what is to come, for this life journey I am about to embark on. I don’t know if I will ever be able to prepare to become a mother until that moment I set my eyes on my baby and first hold my child.

I only hope that when my baby arrives and I can finally hold them. To hold onto that tiny hand, touch those tiny fingers and kiss their head, my maternal instinct will take over and somehow I will know what I have to do. Who I have to be and how I have to love. To protect. To nurture.  I hope that my maternal instinct will consume my mind, my body and in that moment, that first moment I hold my baby, my tiny human, I will know exactly what I am doing and everything will be OK. I will be OK.

I am ready for a love to last a lifetime and to feel in ways that I have never yet felt. To give and receive pure love and sheer happiness. The sort of happiness that they say only a child can bring. Only a parent can experience. I want to feel those feelings and experience such love.

To become a mother. A teacher. A leader. A friend.




Taking a leap of faith.

“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears”



Into my mid twenties and baby ready, I suppose you might say that I am a little late to step into the world of blogging. I am currently feeling motivated at this stage in my life and ready to branch out from the comfort of my Instagram account, get creative and begin a new online adventure. An adventure to use as a learning process, a tool for my own personal growth.


My name is Keren Polland. I have chosen to begin a blog to capture moments and experiences of every day life. I have always wanted to start my own blog, to create something that is solemnly mine. As an introvert with little knowledge of blogging, I shied away, allowing my hopes of blogging become a pipe dream. I couldn’t possibly create something that others would want to read, could I?

With a new found focus and the want to do well, to create, I have decided to give this a shot. To get stuck in and give it a spin. Better late than never. I thank my boyfriend Euan very much for doing the background checks and setting up this space for myself. Without his help, knowledge and guidance, I would still be mulling over the blogs of others, desperate for my own. I am preparing to begin family life with my best friend. Expecting a little girl at the end of the Summer, the start of a new chapter in my relationship. What could be more exciting? I am going to focus my blog on this new family life, to put focus on my child, my relationship and my experience as a new mother. The good, the bad and the ugly. I want to open up and share my stories. Reach out to others and create an online following of not only followers, but friends. Others in a similar situation, experiencing the same as I.

This blog, MY blog is set to be a personal reflection of my own thoughts and views, a personal yet public journal. An outlet to unwind and to share. An accout of daily life, yet a brief escape from reality. With a spell of maternity leave on the horizon, I needed some sort of hobbie to occupy my mind and a place to share and reflect in order to keep myself sane during those long days and nights of no sleep nursing a newborn.

Broken routines, daily change. I can feel the anxiety build up just thinking about what is soon to come. I am someone who has to have a plan for EVERYTHING. My life is almost timed to perfection; feeding times, bathing times, leisure times and bed times. My biggest struggle I face with becoming a new mother is the sudden lack of routine. To have to adapt to a whole different take on life as we currently know it is a scary concept. For now, it is 10.20pm. I am tired and quite heavily pregnant. Time to rest my eyes – until the heartburn kicks in and sleep fails me ( this happens a lot lately) but I’ll take whatever rest I can get.

Goodnight, Keren x