Tag Archives: blogging mum

Eleanor’s First Birthday.

IMG-20180831-WA0013Firstly, I’m going to apologise for my lack of online presence, it’s been such a busy eight weeks and to round it all off, the past two weeks have been full of celebrations and joy. Celebrating all things family and all thegood in life. With a lot of blogging to catch up on and some spare time to kill on the drive back to Amsterdam from Bruges, I’ll begin with the first in the run up of events. Eleanor’s first birthday, one of the best and most exciting days I have ever had. What a buzz around a First birthday, we had an absolute blast and I’m now more in love than ever.

Yes, you read correct, on the 31st of August my baby Daughter turned one and I don’t quite know how to handle that. A year has past so soon, so sudden and I’m not sure that I am ready to let go a little more. Motherhood, It’s a process and it’s an emotional challenge. It can be lonely, it can be scary but most of all  it can be so, so rewarding and the love that consumes you is something quite euphoric. My baby girl has brought so much to the World that I live in within in such a short year and had made the process of becoming a Mother so very easy for me. She leads the way, and I follow.

There are few words to explain just how Eleanor has changed my life in such a short space of time, all for the better. This tiny little baby appeared and suddenly everything becomes so different and the life you knew is no more. We have to change and adapt, grow and nurture, it’s not easy to get to grips with but before you know it parenting is second nature and I wonder if we need these tiny babies more than they need us. Or at least in some respects. What a crazy year it has been and I can only thank Eleanor for the life she has brought to me and the joy she has filled me with.

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As a new Mum, I’m so grateful to have the time that I do with Eleanor to raise and watch her as she grows. Keen to capture it all and document her firsts, her achievements and her happiness is just so important for myself and my Husband, Euan. Oh, yes, you read that right.. Husband. I’ll elaborate later.

To celebrate the first year of Eleanor’s life and the good she has brought to us all, we decided to have a morning of present opening followed by Eleanor’s favourite breakfast, pancakes and Yogurt. Messy but absolutely delicious, she is a girl after my own heart and our love of pancakes will bond us forever more. I picture life with Eleanor ahead and can see us sitting around a cafe table washing down our favourite food with different juices and coffees, it makes me smile to have all of these images and ideas of happy family life full my head and I feel warm.

My baby has brought so much to our lives and her soul is just so alive and pure. Charismatic, friendly, loving, cheeky and more, Eleanor really does make for quite a special little girl. I’d be lost without her and life would certainly not be half as bright. I can’t believe how such a small person can have such a big presence, Eleanor lifts and lights the room, I love her.

Looking like my big little girl, all dressed in her pink Birthday dress which I had purchased the day prior, what follows was a family day trip to a local family soft play center and outdoor play area, den in the Glen. A coffee stop on the way was essential however as without coffee i wouldn’t have made it.

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A place familiar to myself from childhood play dates. We walked around the grounds as it was a lovely and sunny day, pointed out each artefact and piece of nature to Eleanor and just went at our own pace taking it all in. I think I was trying to digest my baby being one to be honest, something that I am still trying to get my head around.

After a walk around, I nursed Eleanor in the car before heading into the soft play area for a wee seat, a spot of lunch and a play in the open space that was suitable for both babies and parents. The hall was busy, families were enjoying lunch together, babies were nursing or snacking and of course, the play area was full of small children and adults, running around, splashing about in the ball pit and having a good day to themselves.

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Having not been to soft play previously, I didn’t know what to expect really. A lot to take in and afterward Eleanor was so exhausted that we went out in a drive to Stonehaven to kill time and allow for a car nap. If left without a nap and over tired it can be an absolute nightmare and I wanted Eleanor to be able to enjoy her day as much Euan and I were, after all it was a day all about her.

In the evening we heading up to my mums to enjoy a birthday tea full of everyone’s favourite snacks and nibbles, Eleanor included. There were sandwiches, pizza, chips, falafel. You name it, we had it. An exceptional spread hosted by my Mother. I brought the birthday cake which I had baked the previous day, a lemon sponge cake in the style of a Victora sponge with buttercream..

The whole family had a great day of celebrations and feasting and Eleanor had a blast. Turning one hasn’t ever looked so good, our baby was spoiled rotten with love and attention while being catered for with all of her favourite foods. I’m usually quite strict with treats and snacks but a birthday is an exception and an excuse to go all out.

To wind down at the end of the day, we headed home and it was straight to bed. Yes, 8.30pm and my baby and I were off to enjoy a cuddle and a snooze together while Euan sorted out some bits and bobs. I don’t know how much longer my baby will nurse from me, accept my cuddles and hold my hand as she falls asleep but for now I’m not ready to wave goodbye to those special moments. I’ve let go of our first year together and that’s quite enough for right now. It’s been challenging, hard work and an emotional roller-coaster.

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There’s been good days, bad days, days where everything just falls out of place and goes wrong but I would do each day all over again if I could. As they all say, blink and you miss it and I can fully say that the statement is so very true. A moment will pass at the blink of the eye but a memory can last a lifetime. That’s what I’m keen to continue to do as Eleanor grows, to make memories and capture as much of our time together as I can.

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Happy birthday baby girl, for I love you so.

Eleanor’s holiday closet.

As we approach holiday season and count down the days until we set off on our first adventure as a family of three, you can imagine the excitement and the hype.. and nerves, that are flying around the household. It is like Christmas all over again, only with the added benefit of a wee break to the sun.

Now, one thing that is getting me super excited for the holiday, not just the idea of some vitamin D and a spell of t-shirt weather but the holiday packing. I have been working away on Eleanor’s Summer wardrobe and picking up holiday bits and bobs as I’ve been on my travels.

As a bit of a fashionista myself with a love for all things girly and sparkly, I can’t not share my favourite pieces of holiday clothing for Eleanor. I can’t wait to see her in some of the wee dresses and her little sun hat. Too cute, though I’m sure with a seven month old, nothing is destined to stay on long. Especially with meal times, often these days a meal time requires a stripping off and full change of clothes, some days even a bath. Ahem, how do babies get food absolutely every where, by the way? I am sure the energy provider loves us with all of the additional washes and hot water usage. .

As I have said, I’m going to share some of my favourite pieces that I have picked up from various stores and online markets. Baby girl shopping is simply irresistible, so many adorable pieces, especially for the Summer.  I am the first to admit that I have no self control when it comes to shopping and treats, especially not for my baby.

I favour what I call a pay day treat, each pay day that comes round I go out and pick up a treat for Eleanor. It is never much, but I always choose a dress or a wee cardigan.. you know, something pretty from my favourite baby store, Next. It makes me feel good to be able to go out and pick her up a treat at the beginning of each month. I think this is a ritual that will stick.

I’m a little jealous of some of the collections I’ve picked up for Eleanor, if I could fit into the dresses, you bet I would! So much gorgeous colour and quality pieces. Below, I will snap shot my favourite items and tag the store which they were purchased. Most purchases have not exceeded £15 and I have sourced many budget buys.

With a maternity wage and a pending Wedding to pay up, I am all for bargain over luxury. I mean, the most we get out of clothes are three months with the rate Eleanor grows right now so I don’t feel going all out and buying expensive baby clothing is necessary.  There is such a wide range of High Street baby clothing that is inexpensive and yet stylish, I love to snap up any pieces that I find pretty as soon as I see them. I hope you enjoy this little post and it gets you feeling in the mood for Summer.

 

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Dresses – both Primark.

 

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Cardigan – Next

Backpack – Cath Kidson

 

 

Dress – Next

Chinos – Next

Shoes – Disney @ Primark

 

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Swimwear – Boots UK

 

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Shorts and Sunhat – Next

As you can see, I’ve got several different styles and items to get packing. Along side this I do have a selection of baby grows, t shirts, leggings and a variety of other clothing pieces. I’ve only chosen to share my favourite items. Much of the holiday wardrobe is lightweight but still covers Eleanor up well to avoid any sun damage. We have picked up a stroller with sun protection and a light fabric and have plenty of products to aid with keeping Eleanor comfortable and cool.

Now that we are ready to get the suitcase out and get packed the reality hits, our first family trip and Euans 30th birthday. I feel some time in a new setting with new scenery will mark a milestone birthday and the end of maternity leave pretty well. I know it won’t all be fun and games, there will be challenges to overcome but I’m hopeful with the time that we have, we can make the most of it and make happy family memories.

Certain not to miss any of these little moments, I’ve got my digital camera and the go pro at the ready. I don’t plan to be active on social media during our time away as a family but as soon as we return, I will share all the details with you.

 

Happy Spring x

When I became a Mother.

Ahead of Mother’s day, I have followed the trend of the #whenibecameamother having been nominated by a friend. This tag line got me to think about that first evening when I met my baby girl and held her for the first time. That first evening that I lay awake watching her adoringly.

The day my baby came into the world was and will forever be the best day of my life. Though exhausted, afraid and weak, my body pulled through and I felt the strongest I had ever felt. I now, have to be the strongest I have ever been for you and to lead the way as you reach developmental milestones and offer a helping hand when you have a set back, no matter how big or small.

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In the short time since becoming a Mother and taking on a role so powerful and rewarding, I’ve never had so many highs and lows in my life. Each day is met with a new challenge, some days trying to thrive with just a two hour sleep is testing. I always do my best and push on through as best as I can.. with the aid of around twelve cups of coffee.

In all seriousness, I love my new found role as a Mother and being part of a community of Mother’s all around the Globe. Here’s to each Mum and Dad out there, it’s a tough role to play and can be relentlessly hard from time to time. We are all doing the best we can and raising our children with hope and love in a world that can seem very unhopeful at times. It’s a scary place this world that we live in, and parenthood is a scary job. Let’s build each other up and support all the parents out there, through the struggles and the achievements.

Let’s recognise each other not just on Mother or Father’s day, but every single day. Parenthood should be celebrated and cherished. After all, bringing a child into the world is one of the best things that we can do. There is so much hope and love that surrounds a new baby, something so precious, so special. No other feeling quite cuts it once you hold your baby for the first time and feel all of the feelings in that moment. When you cry all those first happy tears mixed with excitement and exhaustion. Those whole first moments can’t ever be relived but they will stay with you forever.

Oh, Eleanor. Your first steps, I will be there. Your first words, I will be there. Your first sickness bug, I will be there. Your first heartbreak, I will be there. Your first let down, I will be there. I will always be there for you my dearest baby girl.

#whenibecameamother

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With this post, I wish you a very Happy Mother’s Day where ever you are around the World, let us hold our children close and raise a glass (or sip a mug of hot coffee – that is my jam). and while we enjoy our day, let’s share some love for every Father out there too. Who hold our hands when we cry, work hard to thrive and provide and glue the Family together with strength, support, goals and companionship.

 

Love, Keren x

So flippin’ good.

Ah, shrove Tuesday, how I love you. Pancake day – a day that I can indulge in my favourite food with no limits or guilt. I have been busy in the kitchen this evening got flipping a batch of American style fluffy pancakes for dinner.

Pancakes with syrup and fruit for myself and pancakes with eggs for Euan. Breakfast for dinner, what more do you want? Below, I will share my recipe and images of my creations for you all to see.

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Think these take your fancy? Get in the kitchen and give it a try, there’s so little to the method and takes no time at all.

Ingredients:

1 egg

1 cup of milk

1 cup of plain flour

Pinch of salt

Two tbsp sugar

Two tsp baking powder

Two tbsp butter

Pinch of cinnamon

Selection of fruit to top

Syrup to dress

 

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Method: Whisk flour, sugar, baking powder, cinnamon and salt. Set aside.

Mix milk with egg and butter (melted) and add to the dry mix. Stir together until a paste has formed.

Heat a large skillet or frying pan with a generous amount of oil, I use coconut oil but any will do. Add two to three spoons of mix at a time and heat until bubble form. Flip and serve warm with a selection of choice toppings.

I prefer to top with syrup, fruit and a drizzle of lemon juice. Enjoy!

Mum guilt; The real deal.

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It’s a funny old thing, you become a parent and all of a sudden you are no longer your own person, you are a Mother, a Father. You lose a sense of identity but gain a whole new realm of responsibility and love that you didn’t even know was capable.

The love for your baby, your child, is like no other. I have not experienced so much love nor emotions prior to the birth of my wee Eleanor. The best and the worst of myself has been put to light and I see the world from a whole new perspective.

I am not as easy going and care free as I once was and the world is now a scary place through the eyes of this over protective parent. I would like to focus this post on something that I have recently began to notice creep up on shopping trips or days out. A feeling that has rised from within and hits like a tonne of bricks ,a feeling that all you Mothers are well aware of.

Mum guilt. No matter what you do, it simply does not feel good enough. It is a losing battle where we are the sole contender.

Guilt, we all feel it, with the exclusion of active sociopaths, add a baby or child to the mix and guilt is suddenly intensified. What exactly is Mum guilt and where does it come from? It has seemed to appear out of the blue for myself and has prevented me from doing the things that I love and taking some time out for myself. Wether that be a half hour shut away to read, getting out for a lone walk or even (god forbid) having a day of pampering.

No matter what my intention lately, I always have a terrible feeling of guilt hang over my head, ready to exploit my mind with shameful thoughts whenever I dare put myself first. I feel that I have lost a sense of freedom and self worth since becoming a Mum, something which is quite hard to adapt to and take control of.

I no longer deem it acceptable to treat myself, not without fear that I should have treated my baby over myself. Do I need this? I ask myself this often. A shopping trip is short lived, and rather than taking items I pick out to the till, I return them to the rack or shelf which I plucked them from. I feel guilty for wasting money on myself no matter the sum. I could have utilised any spenditure on Eleanor rather than myself.

I find myself anxious of time and feeling bad for dragging my baby out just so I can pick up a carton of milk for myself or browse the stores when I could be at home, holding her, giving my undivided attention. I tend to get out but feel panic and pushed for time, I can’t relax for fear that she will want a feed or begin to get uncomfortable and cry.

Crying is perfectly normal for a baby to get attention and I know I have the security that she is always changed and fed before I take her out, I can’t help but feel unsettled at the thought of her crying in public. I always feel that it’s my fault for dragging her out and that I have led her to be unhappy for my own pleasure. Mum guilt.

I no longer indulge in any alcohol or nights out as I feel that my baby could need me at any time when I am apart from her. I just can’t leave her behind knowing that she is my responsibility and could need me at any time. I have reluctantly left her for no more than four hours with my Mother so that Euan and I can catch a screening at the cinema. This has only ever been around four separate occasions, a month apart at least.

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I can’t bring myself to leave her no matter who with or how capable they are. Knowing that Eleanor is so tiny and may need me at any time. I know that my baby is loved and nurtured and with that understanding , I must implicate healthy changes for the benefit of my own health.

I am not just a Mother, I am my own person with interests and needs that I need to fulfill every once in a while. It is important to take time for myself and my own sanity, i owe it to myself to give myself a break without feeling the need to explain and justify my actions.

With that in mind, I am off to the hairdresser next Saturday on a solo outing for a bit of me time and pampering. I am after a fresh dye job and cut, both much needed and long overdue. Oops, blame Motherhood on that one. Free time does not come freely.  A trip to the salon may not seem a big deal to many of you, I’d previously not have thought anything of it either but these days a little time out to spoil myself is a rare occasion.

Following this, we are going to see Stereophonics at the end of the month for a parents night out. How dare we? I’m absolutely looking forward to this and an evening out with my love, I fully plan to make the most of being child free, let my hair down and have fun. I have plans to go all out with a glass of wine in a plastic cup and greasy gig chips.

The last time we went to a gig together was back in July and I was heavily pregnant and spent most of the gig nursing a sore back. This time, I can make a better go at it and not retire early. I got this.

I’m sure that my Mum guilt will be in full swing but im going to really try to get myself into a good mindset and forget Mum duties for the night. It will be time for my partner and I to enjoy. Eleanor will be in capable, loving hands, I just need to let go, chill and live a little. If I can push the Mum guilt aside for even just one night, it will be a milestone itself.

I feel that as Mothers and Fathers, we put so much pressure on ourselves to be the best parents we can be, we get ourselves down when something doesnt go to plan or work out as we had hoped and we hold ourselves responsible for any setbacks, the guilt can be too much to take some days.It’s time to start pushing that unnecessary guilt trips that we love to drive down aside and putting ourselves first once in a while.

Book a pamper day, take yourself out for a coffee, set a date for a night out (and follow plans through) and for God sakes, buy the dress. Life is too short to spend it consumed with guilt, we all deserve a break once in a while.

Parenthood is hard, it is testing, it is wonderful. Let’s not be so hard on ourselves, our babies will still love us after a few hours without our company.

Keren x

Turning twenty five with my family,a smile and a whole lot of positives.  

 A few years back, I’d have never imagined myself to be in the position that I am on this day. October 4th 2017, my birthday.

 Today I turned twenty five. I woke up in a bed with the two love of my life’s and will end the day as I woke, snuggled up with my family. Yep, my own family. A family is something that seemed so out of reach to me just a few short years, yet here we are. To say I am loving life is an understatement. 

 Tired, lacking any personal time and living in a dressing gown, spending most of the day nursing my baby and changing nappies, but so relentlessly happy. 

 I woke up at 3.32am to change Eleanor, changed days from the years where I would be crawling into my bed following a crazy Birthday night out where much wine was consumed and a hangover was inevitable. In fact, to this day, it was five years ago on my Birthday night out that I met Euan. Life works in mysterious ways.  
 A few years back had you asked my goals and future hopes,  I’d not have had an answer. I simply didn’t know. I was pessimistic, lonely and I lacked motivation for anything other than hitting the town and losing myself to a few bottles of wine. A sad reality of my teenage years which followed until my early twenties. A waste. 

 Today, I turned twenty five with nothing but a positive mindset and a whole lot of creativity going on inside. I have a lot of ideas and plans for the future and I keep striving to do better. I finally feel as though I am living the life that was meant for me. From this year, my first year of Motherhood, I hope to achieve several goals:

I wish to keep writing and growing my blog. To channel my creativity through the personal space that I have designed online. My own space that was only just an idea held within an idle mind for several years until I brought it to life – with help and encouragement from Euan when I became pregnant. I finally felt that I had something to say and experience to share. 

I wish for this new found positive outlook and mindset to stay with me, not just for the year but for the long term. To see the good in all things and to work on zoning out negatives and being more of an optimist. I have everything that I have ever wanted, my own family and with that notion I strive to be positive and bright for myself, my family and the life that we share.

 and finally, I must get myself a wedding planner and begin to jot down all those little ideas and details which spring to mind when think about and picture my wedding day. A small affair, a good few years away as we are in no rush,  but I like to be organised. Nothing thrills me more than to be writing lists and ticking items off the never ending to do list. What can be more fun or more creative to a gal than to create the wedding of her dreams on paper and watch as she puts in the time and the working effort to make those ideas from paper come together and live those ideas on our wedding day when the day arrives. 

 It’s been the best Birthday yet, the first Birthday that I have shared with my own family and it sure won’t be the last. Here is to twenty five and for all that it will bring, I hope to do better and achieve more than I ever have or could have imagined. Finally, here is to many more birthday’s that I can share with my family. My loves and my life. 

 Keren x