Tag Archives: hopes

Life in the fast lane.

_20180707_215439.JPG

Right, hello you bunch. I’m going to get real in this blog post and share what’s been going on with family life the past few weeks, there’s a lot to get through and I must admit, I’ve been having quite the time of it all lately, a time that has been overwhelming and most definitely stressful. My patience tested and my sanity questioned. Wait, what sanity?

Why is it that everything comes at once? It seems the past two years have been non stop, from passing my driving test, to a pregnancy, becoming a Mother, an engagement and now a move? I laugh that we have done this all in the wrong order, we are all muddled up with our relationship path and direction. Finally, it’s all coming together but the thing is, how much longer can before I burn out?

Trying to find the balance between being a working mother and spending enough time with not just Eleanor but with my partner too all while trying to keep up appearances with my family and friends can really be a great challenge. With Eleanor being so young and demanding such full on attention, I hardly have time with my partner, never mind any self time to just sit back and relax for a minute. If im not chasing after her every move, I’m trying to settle the constant wails of the dreaded teething. It’s tough, nothing really prepares you for welcoming a child Into the world and the challenges you face can get to be too much from time to time.

I amaze myself with how many times I have to repeat in a day “mummy just needs a minute” as I try to unload the dishwasher or give myself heartburn from having to shovel lunch into my mouth so fast. Yes, life with a baby really is life changing, believe it or not, it is true what they say. Even now, ten months on, I find a new struggle with every waking day. There is no day off, but would I have it any other way? Of course not. This is life now, and no matter how tired, how stressed and how unglamorous, I am living my best life with the people that I love.

Long gone are the weekends spent at the pub with friends or the endless shopping trips with my Mum or even just taking some time to enjoy a hot bath and a wine. Life has turned upside down and unfortunately time doesn’t wait for nobody. There is no catching up, all stations are go and on a 24/7 basis.

IMG_20180630_152223_172.jpg

Onwards and upwards though, and I’d not have it any other way. I mean, as much as I’d like to belive that I miss the partying, the friends that would come and go and the tireless walking around the shops I don’t miss it. Not for a minute would I change my situation, I can’t imagine ever not having my Eleanor, life before her was non exist ant. Sure, there are parts I’d do differently but that’s all part of learning and the journey into Womanhood, into Motherhood and my past mistakes make me grow to be stronger than ever and rise above issues (or crumble to the ground in a pile of tears – depending on the hormones).

With some further exciting news, the past week in our household has been filled with excitement, nerves and anxiety. We have recently received word of our application to rent a new property going through and depending on the status we take after a viewing we can move immediately. The property has two bedrooms, a balcony, and en suite. It provides us with the extra space that we need for our family right now all while being secure tenancy which means we can move without the worry of being left on the street at any time. The properties are not far from where we call home and ideal for a utilising as a family home for the future. Though not a forever home, it provides us with the steps we must take to get to that stage all while it buys us time to save and time to grow.

With the idea of a move to a family home, a fresh start all very exciting and new, it does bring a great deal of sadness and anxiety. I mean it’s great, yes and it is what we were working towards, only we thought we would have more time on our side. Walker Road has provided us with so many good times, it will be very hard to part ways but with everything in life, you have to move on and grow. It’s time for our family to grow into a new home, start over with a new chapter and really embrace those precious family moments.

IMG_20180628_091759.jpg

The surrounding buildings are full of families which will be great for bonding and making friends, Eleanor can grow up with children her own age around and can have the space she needs to express herself and play. There is a play park and a spacious area of grass where Fern can run around and play too. The homes look direct onto the river, a phenomenal view on a blue skied day. Everything we could want, need and more is in the palm of our hands, when we can let go of now and move on to a better future, I think our quality of life will greatly improve. After all, they say that change is good.

It is a busy time, but we can get through it together. A move, our babies first birthday, our wedding and honeymoon all coming in before the Autumn months arrive, time will fly. I have returned to work part time to get a break and to enjoy some adult company, to be my own person a few hours in a week, only it seems I’ve ended up with less time than I’ve ever had before and a lot less unsure of the person that I am. Go figure?

With all the nerves and the excitement, the fear of change and the huge lifestyle choices we have had to make, it really can become overwhelming and I’m looking for ways to still grab some time out for myself while I can, before I do lose my mind.

A coffee trip to mull over my thoughts alone, light breathing work to try to stay calm and practicing some basic yoga moves to stay focused and remember to remain positive in every situation, no matter how exhausting or stressful. To have a calm and a clear mind will always be better than having a mind filled with a tangled mess or worries, fears and stresses.

I do struggle to remember to breathe with all the crazy sometimes but I’m trying to remember to focus and keep a clear mind as with this busy period in mind, a clear head to think and a positive outlook is all very important. I like to reflect good vibes for myself which keeps my spirits up and can be especially good for Eleanor to pick up on.

IMG_20180628_084743.jpg

A busy time for sure but with the move becoming finalised, the wedding done and dusted, I’d like to believe we can move on as a family and work toward a better future for ourselves with time. Together we are able to do whatever we put our minds too and there is no right or wrong direction. We are going to go with the flow that life drives us in and to see the future with an open mind.

aaaand, breathe.

Tell me, how do you relax when times become all too much?

Keren x

Turning twenty five with my family,a smile and a whole lot of positives.  

 A few years back, I’d have never imagined myself to be in the position that I am on this day. October 4th 2017, my birthday.

 Today I turned twenty five. I woke up in a bed with the two love of my life’s and will end the day as I woke, snuggled up with my family. Yep, my own family. A family is something that seemed so out of reach to me just a few short years, yet here we are. To say I am loving life is an understatement. 

 Tired, lacking any personal time and living in a dressing gown, spending most of the day nursing my baby and changing nappies, but so relentlessly happy. 

 I woke up at 3.32am to change Eleanor, changed days from the years where I would be crawling into my bed following a crazy Birthday night out where much wine was consumed and a hangover was inevitable. In fact, to this day, it was five years ago on my Birthday night out that I met Euan. Life works in mysterious ways.  
 A few years back had you asked my goals and future hopes,  I’d not have had an answer. I simply didn’t know. I was pessimistic, lonely and I lacked motivation for anything other than hitting the town and losing myself to a few bottles of wine. A sad reality of my teenage years which followed until my early twenties. A waste. 

 Today, I turned twenty five with nothing but a positive mindset and a whole lot of creativity going on inside. I have a lot of ideas and plans for the future and I keep striving to do better. I finally feel as though I am living the life that was meant for me. From this year, my first year of Motherhood, I hope to achieve several goals:

I wish to keep writing and growing my blog. To channel my creativity through the personal space that I have designed online. My own space that was only just an idea held within an idle mind for several years until I brought it to life – with help and encouragement from Euan when I became pregnant. I finally felt that I had something to say and experience to share. 

I wish for this new found positive outlook and mindset to stay with me, not just for the year but for the long term. To see the good in all things and to work on zoning out negatives and being more of an optimist. I have everything that I have ever wanted, my own family and with that notion I strive to be positive and bright for myself, my family and the life that we share.

 and finally, I must get myself a wedding planner and begin to jot down all those little ideas and details which spring to mind when think about and picture my wedding day. A small affair, a good few years away as we are in no rush,  but I like to be organised. Nothing thrills me more than to be writing lists and ticking items off the never ending to do list. What can be more fun or more creative to a gal than to create the wedding of her dreams on paper and watch as she puts in the time and the working effort to make those ideas from paper come together and live those ideas on our wedding day when the day arrives. 

 It’s been the best Birthday yet, the first Birthday that I have shared with my own family and it sure won’t be the last. Here is to twenty five and for all that it will bring, I hope to do better and achieve more than I ever have or could have imagined. Finally, here is to many more birthday’s that I can share with my family. My loves and my life. 

 Keren x