Tag Archives: research

Babies first..trip to A&E.

I noticed as I woke a little dried blood on the bed sheet, this had come from Eleanor’s ear which has also specks of blood dried up. Worried by this, I cleaned her up and kept my eye for any odd behaviour and warning signs of infections.

Eleanor has lately grown an obsession with tugging and piking at her ears, more noticeably when she is tired or having trouble with her teeth. I think she uses this as a comforting mechanism. I figured that in her sleep she must have caught herself and given a good scratch with her nails leaving a little damage behind. I wasn’t aware there was an ear infection brewing, and rapidly.

At lunch time, Euan came home for lunch as usual and was having his cuddle with Eleanor before heading back out when he passed comment that her ear was smelly and raw looking. Upon inspection, I began to panic that there was something serious under lying and that a minor irritation wasn’t just the issue. How I hadn’t noticed, I in the few hours from waking to lunch, I don’t know. Eleanor’s ear was raw red, pussy and definitely infected. There no mistaken the smell of an infection.

I called the doctor and got an appointment for the following afternoon and was advised to clear up her ear with sterile salt water regularly. Happy with this advice, I done so and I done so as best as I could. As best as I could with a wriggly six month old anyway. I was happy that this was going to settle this issue and ease of discomfort until the following day, however come 8PM after a wee trip out, her ear was progressively worse and smelling very angry, looking very unhappy.

Poor baby was having trouble, you could tell she wasn’t feeling right, irritable, crying for what seemed to reason and refusing food. We decided to take further action and call the late night doctor, got booked in and headed off soon after to the emergency department. Upon arrival, we were told to head to the fracture clinic..now,a young couple with a crying baby heading to the fracture clinic, passing a room full of waiting patients never looks good, does it?

I actually felt as though our every moved was being scrutinised by unaware individuals as we passed. Needless to say, I kept my head down. Low profile and all that. The wait wasn’t too long and Eleanor sat on our knees and had a wee play, good as gold really. You wouldn’t have thought it by the cries coming from her in the car but she surpassed expectations.

The doctor had a check of all her crucial stats and inspected her ears. Low and behold, an ear Infection.. Perhaps a burst ear drum but too hard to know with being unable to see far down the canal and Eleanor being so small. We were given a dose of amxocillin for a course of six days to clear up the infection and advised to see the Gp after this time for a check over to get the all clear. With this being her ears, I’d not like to risk lasting damage and will call first thing tomorrow to arrange for a check up. My poor baby.

It seems to be one thing after another for her right now and with being so tiny, so helpless, I really feel all of her pain only I wish I could take it away and have her as comfortable as possible at all times. Teething, colds, coughs, rashes with sensitive skin, ear aches…you name it. Man, I never thought a baby could suffer from so much in one spell. I was made aware that breastfeeding would help to eliminate colds/coughs etc and aid the immune system for both Mum and baby but this is not the case with us. We seem to pass back and forth colds and all sorts. I just wish for my baby to get a break!

It breaks my heart to see her so unhappy and unwell. It truly is the most horrible thing to see someone you love so deeply in pain and distress. Thigh she takes it like a trooper and still smiles throughout the tears, it just makes me so upset. I only wish for her a speedy recovery and hopefully some lasting relief, a break from all of the growing pains, the teething, the colds. You name it.

Motherhood really is more than just nursing a sleeping baby and changing nappies. Each day is so complex and different from the next, you dint know what is around the corner and babies moods can change in an instant. As Eleanor grows, I find there is so many complications that growth brings. The spurts, the sleep regression, teething, general unwellness, issues with sensitivity, all things that you do not really prepare for or fully expect when you bring home your newborn on those first days. It’s not all black and white as I am learning and Motherhood is challenging, it is testing and it is powerful.

I’ve never known a love like this and the want for a better life for this little lady. Here’s to a fast recovery, I’m off to sneak her some cuddles as she rests before hitting the hay myself. I’m sure I won’t sleep for worry and checking on her but I’ll give it a try. Tomorrow is a new day and with that I’m hopeful it can be a better day and I will see my baby happy once again.

What was your first experience with a trip to accident and emergency with your babe? Has anyone had trouble with ear infections in children?

Goodnight, Keren.

Home is where the heart is. Valentine fantasies.


Good afternoon guys! Okay, I admit that the title of this post may seem misleading, I best correct myself before setting you readers up for disappointment. This is no fifty shades of grey theme, you can keep your pants on. I am keeping things clean and talking about fantasies that as a family we hold for the future.

It is shrove Tuesday, pancake day as it is better known. A day to celebrate and eat my favourite food and just to mix things up, I recieved a Valentine bouquet from Euan a day early. With my favourite food day now combined with Valentins, I can only assume that this ought to be a good day.

I have woke on this day to some beautiful flowers delivered and a day is planned out with the main ladies in my life, my baby, my Mother and my sister. Galentines! With that in mind, I am feeling optimistic, high on love and plan to share with you bunch some recent topics of discussion in our household. Home is where the heart is.

Opportunities, higher wages, better quality of living, the great outdoors..we all strive and crave more. I mean, there has to be more to life than a 9-5 dead end job and British weather. Surely? There has to be a key to finding a happy work/life balance all while finding peace of mind too?


We aim to find a place to reside that will bring us better prospects to raise a family and a place we can live minimally with access to a large variety of activities and opportunities. I would love to have three children one day, i grew up in a busy household and want to bring that chaos into a family of my own. A large family would mean a big move and many changes so that our children would have the best start that we can offer.

We hope to find a location with good education, health benefits and a healthy lifestyle, vitamin D on the occasion value for money and homes that we can only dream of. The grass isn’t always greener, no but in our circumstance,  we have nothing to lose in all honesty.

We dont seek much, nor do we have crazy expectations, we just crave a change that will bring something more, I don’t think it is wrong to want better and to do well and I think a fresh start would be welcome. I think we all want to start over from time to time. This time, we are willing to work to make that happen. No more pipe dreams.

During recent talks myself and Euan have decided that we wish to move away from home to raise our family. It’s been done many times by people in both better and worse circumstances and ther are plenty of success stories with regards to big moves with many folks saying once leaving home and finding settlement elsewhere, they have never looked back.

A move of any accord with a family is no small task, the way we see it, go big or go home. We have much research to do in regards to finding the right place for us to settle and see our children through school but with the information that is out there and the help available online, I’m certain we can come to an informed decision with location and area planning.

Once we are set with a base, we can then further explore our options and expenses. We can get estimates for the money we require to save and work our butt’s off to make life happen. I certainly feel it is time for big changes and a new climate. There is so much to life and this world away from this City.

As a family, we want and encourage new adventure, we want to live our best life together. I am sure all this planning and saving will be no easy task and bring plenty stress but together with the hopes of a better future in mind for ourselves and our family, we can achieve anything we wish.

Persevering and patience is key so it is a good job that I have left Euan at hand to do all the dirty work and the researching. I don’t cope so well with being patient, I only end up frustrated and upset. We don’t have time for that with all the planning and prep that must be done. I’ll simply take a back seat and advise on this occasion, the easy ride. No pun intended.

The Valentines hype has had us in a wee love bubble and brought us to some thoughts and new hopes. We have been thinking about our future and all that family life will hold, it has us both feeling motivated and excited which has led to this post and thought sharing with you all. We dont know where will be be five years from now but we have a plan to find a new place to call home and claim residence for the benefit of a happy family life. After all, family is the most important gift and to grow together with an ever flourishing relationship is what really matters. Happy Valentines everybody.

To you and yours, love always wins.



We set the date!

Well, I must say that the year has been kind to us. The most special year I have had yet, the year we began the family adventure, the year we got engaged, the year life as we knew it changed forever. I have taken only the good from 2017 and will carry it with me for the rest of my life. It’s not every year you have your first child or get engaged!

To keep the trend going and end the year with a bang, we decided to take the plunge, set the date and book our wedding ceremony. We done this is all of two days may I add, with a baby in tow. Productivity at its finest.

With having the perfect date in mind, we already had a good idea of when we would wed, we just didn’t have the year in place. The fourth of September was our date of choice, already a special day for us as it is both our anniversary and the date of which we took Eleanor to have her birth registered. We thought to extend the day with another happy memory and add to it the day that we are to become husband and wife.

Euan called the office on Friday morning to check that the date was available for the coming year, 2018. They had the date free and we had the choice of time slot to attend. With it being a Tuesday, a funny day to marry.. we know, we went with an early afternoon slot. As the local registrar is a central location we wanted a time that it wouldn’t be rush hour so to speak and guests would have easy access to the venue.

Our ceremony will be small with only family in attendance. Euans parents and their partners, Euan’s grandparents and my parents. My side of the family will be outnumbered however, we decided that we didn’t want siblings or extended family at the ceremony. Small and sweet. Our witnesses will be our birth Mother’s.

To follow, we have booked a small room that can host up to twenty guests at the Carmelite in Aberdeen. We have a room from 5pm and will be greeted with some arrival drinks and finger foods for our wedding party before further guests arrive for the evening meal which will be a sit down three course job with drinks to follow for those who feel like having a few. We are aware it is a school night and people may want to leave promptly after the meal, we don’t expect a wild night by any accord. I don’t think I’d hack that to be honest.

Something I previously hadn’t planned on having however with the extended guests, we decided it would be best to host a meal where we can make special memories with our nearest and dearest. We have chosen specific finger foods and a set menu that will cater for everyone with a few minor adjustments to me carried out.

The room will be filled with just twenty of our guests with three children included. Though quite small, we will have just one rounded table for eating with guests and have decided to decorate the room with different chairs and a variety of colours and fabrics.

The room will have a quirky setting with lot’s of florals for the added bohemian vibes. I’m a big fan of anything floral and have even ordered myself a flower crown for the day rather than the classic veil.

I’m not giving too much away though, there are a lot of ideas out there and I’m still mulling over decor and styles without getting over the top or stepping into a territory of expense.

My dress is all set, it’s not a wedding dress by no accord and it is certainly not designer not expensive, but it’s a dress that was gifted to me several years ago that I have been desperate to wear, it just was never suited to a day trip to the shops or visiting my Mother. It’s a special dress that I have kept in my wardrobe with the tags still on waiting patient for the perfect occasion.

Come closer to the time, I’ll share a sneak preview with you all. Don’t worry. I’d love to share all with you bunch but I have to keep some level of suspense.

We did stick to our guns and keep it as a small affair as we have no need for a big day, all we wanted was a simple yet elegant day to cherish for years to come. I can’t believe when I marry I will be holding my baby girls hand the whole way through! What a privilege, I am certainly one lucky lady and a very proud Mother.

We have found wedding bands and sized ourselves up, with a click of a button we can have them ordered to suit. I have the fancy diamond band as an engagement ring, with a wedding band I have went as basic as you can go I want nothing more than a slim yet timeless platinum band to mark my commitment.

The invites are set to go and the venues are booked, now we just need to pull it all together and we are well on our way to celebrating our big day. There’s a lot of work going on with us behind the scenes and much planning to do – much more than I expected. The notebook is out, the ideas are in and I’m never off of etsy as I try to source ideas and material for the day.

Keep your eyes peeled for further posts and wedding updates, I’m sure there will be plenty and lots of big reveals on the way. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m off to plan for the big day and scour the net for some mini moon ideas. I’m thinking a City break for the three of us.

Lots of love,

Keren x

Solitary sleep and the attachment risks with an infant.

Co-sleeping, am I doing it wrong?

Hello all, I’m onto a new subject matter today. One that is quite important for myself. For those for who follow my blog, you may have read my post about co-sleeping with my newborn and the uncertainties that I had with this issue. With this being a big issue of mine, I decided to do some further research into the topic to find out more about the pro’s and cons of co-sleeping. I’m ready to share my findings with you.


The act of sharing a bed with your child is said to lead to horrible results, this can include entitled and clingy children. However, with new research surrounding the topic,  there’s no evidence of this and studies have shown that bed sharing has been linked  with independence, less thumb-sucking and cognitive competence.

Independence is not something I actually had thought about when it came to co-sleeping and to now know that Eleanor could become independent through co-sleeping is great news as independence is very important and I want her to be able to rely on herself and grow to become a competent individual. Other studies around the subject have found no differences between children who bed share and those who sleep alone.

This should mean the question is left up to individual families to see what works best for them. Phew. II worried that I was n the wrong and not giving my baby the best chance so finding research that proved my theories wrong has been a pleasant surprise and put my mind to rest. Sure, I don’t want my baby bed sharing with us when she is past six months of age but for now, it’s good to know that keeping her close is causing no harm or affecting her development.

I find that bed sharing is just so much easier for myself, for the family at this time. Especially while breastfeeding, it is super convenient and makes the night feeds real easy and not a stressful event. I find that co-sleeping also soothes Eleanor. If I put her down alone, she can become very unsettled and upset which can be upsetting for myself to see, it really does break your heart when you see your baby cry. It is helpless. I have read that recent studies now show that with breastfeeding and bed sharing through the night, the shared contact with baby is essential for their overall development.

I thought that bed sharing and co sleeping was unsafe for my baby and feared for her safety but research has shown that bed sharing is perfectly safe, it all depends on the surrounding environment and the circumstances. I’m happy that the environment I share with my baby is fully as safe can be and she is secure at all times.

Perhaps, I’ve shot myself in the foot and come six months the transition for our bed into her own will be very difficult and trying but for now, co-sleeping works for us all and is what my baby needs.

I will continue to bed share until we hit the six month mark where I am then happy to move onto the next stage and get Eleanor sleeping alone in her cot. I have many tricks, reading material and good advice for getting to this stage and prepping my baby girl for solitary sleeping.

I’m sure if we take the right steps for us, get into a good feeding and bed time routine/pattern, we will get to the stage of solitary sleep and begin our next chapter as a family. Until then, I’ll embrace all of the night time cuddles I can get. A baby is only a newborn once after all and time is precious.

Baby steps, right? 


Lots of love, Keren x



The things I wish my midwife had told me.



Hindsight is a wonderful thing, isn’t it? During the course of my pregnancy, I was always so blind sighted by the concept of holding my baby that I didn’t really explore or look into what life might be like post baby and what babies actually do.

We all know how it goes; babies, eat, sleep and poop. I was naive to assume as much and to never have questioned what goes on in between or even during these stages in the day. I didn’t bother to think about what babies do when they are awake, how they act and what can trigger them to act in a particular way. Why does a baby cry?

I feel that I was misled and misinformed by the midwives and ante natal classes. I was only ever told of the positive side to motherhood, breastfeeding and babies. Never the negatives. I was silly to have been so naive and not ask more questions or have done more research into life with a newborn. After all, it is a life changing experience and I wish I paid more attention to this and given post birth some thought. I had wanted my baby so bad that I overlooked some of the most important factors surrounding becoming a first time parent. I had unknowingly set myself up for failure.

There is a lot more to babies than eating, sleeping and pooping. It is not as simple as it can be made to seem and a lot more delicate.

 What happens when all your baby wants is to be held and will not allow to be put down? What happens when your baby is awake all night, crying in discomfort with colic? Nothing that you try to do will help and the crying only intensifies. What then?

21911266_175156759703314_3618031242710089728_n What happens when your baby gains the benefits of breastfeeding but you, as the Mother are left feeling drained and lifeless from hours of cluster or comfort feeding? Breastfeeding is said to help a Mother share a strong bond with baby, however I was not aware nor made aware about issues that develop such as cluster feeding. The whole aspect of bonding is overlooked in my experience and I don’t feel nursing my baby builds a bond, nursing simply intensities how tired I am. I feel like I am not yet a Mother, I am a feeding mechanism with a baby attached to me almost 24/7.


Nobody warned me of the darker side to parenthood or what happens come dark. There is no routine and there will not be for a long time. Why are parents so misinformed about issues such as colic? Why are the benefits of breastfeeding pushed at new mums yet the reality of this nursing method is missed out?

Perhaps it is down to the parents to do their own research pre baby. Perhaps health care professionals should be more open with the reality of life with a newborn and not lead parents into a false pretense. I hadn’t even heard of colic prior to this. I have discovered just how common it can be among newborns and I feel a little upset that something so common does seem to be overlooked and not spoken of during a woman’s pregnancy.

21819793_351033521976984_1886224562660573184_n We are currently involved in a six week baby massage class where we learn routines and techniques to massage Eleanor. An element of the class covers dealing with colic and wind build up, methods to help subside this are taught and seem to be very beneficial and relaxing. It certainly chills Eleanor out but is in no way the answer to her colic nor a long term solution.

I feel that had I been given information about colic or told the disadvantages of breastfeeding I could have prepared myself for the impact each would have and the extent of the toll that such issues can and do take. No new parent wants to be nursing their baby for hours through the night to help soothe the excessive crying, unable to lay their baby down anywhere but right beside them. It is tough. 

We are told by Health care staff that colic is a phase that will pass. When? When will this phase pass? It is so easy to say yet being on the receiving end and dealing with your baby who is clearly in discomfort and struggling is not so easy. It is hard to see her struggle through. I feel so helpless during her episodes of this. Being told it will pass, is simply no use.

Life with a newborn is hard and there is so much more to it than we are led to believe. I often find myself feeling the strain of handling a baby all day both physically and emotionally, especially when she does not like to be put down. You don’t really get a break being a new parent and certainly factors such as colic and comfort feeding add to this. I only hope that come time, colic and the disadvantages of breastfeeding become more spoken of and awareness surrounding both is brought to the attention of new parents.

21690458_1415176985245146_942516790557147136_n I only wish that during my pregnancy I had done my research and asked more questions. Had I had the information which I do now, could I have prevented the colic? Could I have been in a better routine of the sorts? Would I still have chosen to breastfeed? The fact is, it is now too late to wonder what if, II can now only act on the decisions that I had made and deal with each day at a time. I hope that this is just a phase and that the colic and the crying relentlessly will pass, sooner rather than later and I can gain some Independence back.