Tag Archives: routine

Solitary sleep and the attachment risks with an infant.

Co-sleeping, am I doing it wrong?

Hello all, I’m onto a new subject matter today. One that is quite important for myself. For those for who follow my blog, you may have read my post about co-sleeping with my newborn and the uncertainties that I had with this issue. With this being a big issue of mine, I decided to do some further research into the topic to find out more about the pro’s and cons of co-sleeping. I’m ready to share my findings with you.

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The act of sharing a bed with your child is said to lead to horrible results, this can include entitled and clingy children. However, with new research surrounding the topic,  there’s no evidence of this and studies have shown that bed sharing has been linked  with independence, less thumb-sucking and cognitive competence.

Independence is not something I actually had thought about when it came to co-sleeping and to now know that Eleanor could become independent through co-sleeping is great news as independence is very important and I want her to be able to rely on herself and grow to become a competent individual. Other studies around the subject have found no differences between children who bed share and those who sleep alone.

This should mean the question is left up to individual families to see what works best for them. Phew. II worried that I was n the wrong and not giving my baby the best chance so finding research that proved my theories wrong has been a pleasant surprise and put my mind to rest. Sure, I don’t want my baby bed sharing with us when she is past six months of age but for now, it’s good to know that keeping her close is causing no harm or affecting her development.

I find that bed sharing is just so much easier for myself, for the family at this time. Especially while breastfeeding, it is super convenient and makes the night feeds real easy and not a stressful event. I find that co-sleeping also soothes Eleanor. If I put her down alone, she can become very unsettled and upset which can be upsetting for myself to see, it really does break your heart when you see your baby cry. It is helpless. I have read that recent studies now show that with breastfeeding and bed sharing through the night, the shared contact with baby is essential for their overall development.

I thought that bed sharing and co sleeping was unsafe for my baby and feared for her safety but research has shown that bed sharing is perfectly safe, it all depends on the surrounding environment and the circumstances. I’m happy that the environment I share with my baby is fully as safe can be and she is secure at all times.

Perhaps, I’ve shot myself in the foot and come six months the transition for our bed into her own will be very difficult and trying but for now, co-sleeping works for us all and is what my baby needs.

I will continue to bed share until we hit the six month mark where I am then happy to move onto the next stage and get Eleanor sleeping alone in her cot. I have many tricks, reading material and good advice for getting to this stage and prepping my baby girl for solitary sleeping.

I’m sure if we take the right steps for us, get into a good feeding and bed time routine/pattern, we will get to the stage of solitary sleep and begin our next chapter as a family. Until then, I’ll embrace all of the night time cuddles I can get. A baby is only a newborn once after all and time is precious.

Baby steps, right? 

 

Lots of love, Keren x

 

 

My top five beauty picks for Winter.

Hello you lovely bunch. I’ve decided to do a post on some essentials I’ll be using this Winter. I have chosen to share my top FIVE picks with you lot. Now, don’t say I’m not kind.

Yes, it’s that time of year again. The days are long and dark, weather is cold, and the natural forces are ready to take their toll on our bodies. I love Winter and the whole Festive period, I can even deal with the darker days, what I don’t love about the Season is the condition it leaves my body in. That red raw, runny nose,chapped and sore lips, dry skin and dull hair. Sound familiar?

Well this year, I’m prepared. I won’t succumb to the cold. I’m ready to face it with some top products that I have been absolutely loving.

I have set out my top winter essentials that I use religiously each day and night with a little review of each product. I do hope you enjoy.

Simple hydrating moisturiser

I’m a big fan of the simple skin care range and always have been. It’s inexpensive and perfect the perfect match for my skin. As I have dry and sensitive skin I have to be careful with the products that I use.

Anything can bring me out in a rash or wash my skin out. I used to love Lush face masks and scrubs but my skin doesn’t take to them anymore and they bring me out it a sore rash. Especially since pregnancy, my skin has taken a turn for the worst, seldom products give me any protection without causing problems.

Trust me I’ve tried and tested a lot of products over the past year and Simple came out on top each time. Even beating the skin care professionals Clairns and Clinique!

All while being a great, kind to skin moisturising lotion it doesn’t break the bank either. Great if you are on a budget.

Simple is great and leaves my skin super hydrated with a dewy glow. Some days, I just slap on simple and a little concelor and I’m good to go. It’s hassle free and works wonders on my dry skin.

The body shop lip balm.
Born lippy

I used to be more of a lipstick gal and would wear anything from nudes to the most bold of brights. A MAC lipstick was my go to, I was forever rushing out on pay day to buy a new shade from the store. A purple lip was a night out essential.

I’ve recently toned down my look from day to day and now favor the more natural and dewy look for my lips without the need for lipsticks. Now that nights out have become a thing of the past, the bold colours have been stashed away.

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I love the body shop and the range of lip balms which they have. Cruelty free too! The lip balms leave my lips super hydrated and protected not to mention that they smell good enough to eat and come in gorgeous packaging. You will catch the eye of others with one of these beauties. I’m not kidding.

I’m currently obsessed with the strawberry stick balm in the born lippy range. It has a slight pink tint to add a colour pop to the lips aswell as smelling delicious!!keeps lips hydrated perfectly for up to five hours without having to re apply. What more could you want?

Benefits Benetint (a classic)

I’ve favoured Benefit since I was around fifteen. The products are gorgeous and there is such a wide range. Something for everyone. Products are well worth the price tag as they last for such a long time. True classics.

During the Winter, I’ll be using my benetint for my cheeks and lips to give my face a little perk of rose. You can apply this in layers to build up from a light coverage to a bold red stain. Perfect for being on the move and taking you from day through to night as it’s quick and convenient to apply.

I love it and favour it all year round. Here’s to those party ready rosy cheeks and pouty lips this Winter.

L’Oréal Elvive hair serum

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I find that the cold and harsh Winter days play havoc with my hair, especially having recently gone lighter, my hair needs a little extra protection to save it from drying out.

This serum is a God send, I use two drops morning and night and I’m good to go. It really makes my hair feel lighter, draws out any knots and adds a little shine. What’s not to love? In an instant I have super glossy locks.

Scent – Miu Miu

With a new Season comes a new scent.

I love this perfume by Miu Miu, it definitely comes with a price tag but it will last forever and in my opinion is worth the cost. All you need is a little spray and you are good to go. The scent hangs around all day long with no need to top up. Perfect not to mention easy convenience.

I’m loving this scent for Winter. It’s a little spicy and makes you feel super warm and cosy. The new Season calls  the time to mix up your perfume to something a bit darker and heavier than the sweet Summer scents of florals. I love floral and girly scents but with the darker days, I wanted something a little heavier. For me, this is the perfect go to. I have met my Winter match. Of course I have a few others on my hit list to buy. I’m looking out for a classic Chanel next. For the moment though, I’ll stick with this. What is your scent of the season?

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I hope that you have enjoyed this post. I thought it would be useful to share some of my beauty picks for the Winter months. What are you using this Winter?

Keren x

 

There were three in the bed..Co-Sleeping with my newborn. Is it really THAT bad?

What is co sleeping? Co-sleeping means sleeping within close proximity to your child. It can vary from being in the same bed or even just in the same room. Families take on different approaches to co-sleeping.

There is no one-size-fits-all model when it comes down to sleeping arrangements with a baby as I have discovered. Some like to sleep with babies, while others simply don’t. Some of us don’t have much choice surrounding sleep arrangements, I have discovered, as some babies need more night comforts than others. It is down to the parents and what they decide to do with their sleeping arrangements and bed time routine.

I have found that with a newborn, you have to go with what works in the moment and re-address situations daily. Right now, Eleanor will not sleep alone in her cot bed at night. She cries almost from the get go of being placed in there. I don’t know the reason for this, during the day she will sleep in her cot without issue but when night comes, she kicks up such a fuss and the crying is almost too much to bear. The only way to get some sleep is by allowing her to sleep next to me in bed or on top of my chest; A decision which I was against but had to quickly re-think.

Yes, we have tried several options while trying to get her into a healthy sleep pattern in her own cot;

Swaddling,

Comforting,

Sleeping on her side rather than back and sleeping upright,

Playing music,

Introducing a night light,

It’s the same story ever night, nothing works and the crying is intense. The only way we could each catch solid sleep was to give in and make adjustments to our sleeping habits. I don’t intend for co-sleeping to last long and would like to gently ease Eleanor out of this habit as soon as I feel she will begin to cope. It may just take some time for her to adapt to being alone, I am sure as she grows older, she will become more independent and her current needs will change. This is a situation I must monitor for the time being and a habit I am keen to break. Hopefully sooner rather than later. The big issue that I hold over this is that I do worry regarding the risks that cover this subject.

There are definite issues and concerns with safety and risks surrounding co-sleeping. The big risk and issue for with allowing Eleanor to co-sleep is the increased risk of sudden infant death syndrome, more dangerous when falling asleep on the couch due to the high risk of her overheating and suffocating which can occur through the day or night. For that reason, I never fall asleep on the couch with her and I am always very aware that she is with me. I feel as though my sleep is disrupted due to having to constantly check that she is okay.

21878991_117548918934597_1894702394311180288_n(1) It has been claimed that if  breastfeeding and not under the influence of alcohol or any further substance or prescribed medication, co-sleeping with your baby shouldn’t increase the risk of SIDS. It is deemed safer to breastfeed in bed than to breastfeed and doze off with on the couch.

Our bedding is a light tog duvet and we don’t sleep with an excess of cushions or pillows, teddies etc. This is said to generally ensure better safety when co-sleeping due to the decreased suffocation and over heating risk.

Due to having to co-sleep, I decided to do some research on the issue for my own awareness and the safety of Eleanor. I wanted to know that so long as we are sleeping alongside one another she is as safe as can be and that the risks are reduced. Upon my readings I have found some helpful tips which I tend to follow rather strictly;

Sleep in the C position – Lie on your side, facing your baby, with your body curled around them in a C-shape with your lower arm above your baby’s head and  knees up under the feet. This position helps prevent rolling and is also convenient for when I breastfeed through the night.

Don’t leave baby alone – Never leaving Eleanor in the bed alone,not even for five minutes, as there is a risk that she could fall off the bed or get into some difficulties.

There are obvious issues that come with this sleeping arrangement that add to the main safety concerns. The issue that I struggle with other than the safety risks is the fact that, I feel you lose the intimacy of sharing the bed with your partner. I favored bed time hugs and kisses. I enjoyed the closeness that I would share with my partner and felt safe sleeping at his side. Now, I sleep at the opposite side of the bed to Euan with little contact, and certainly no bed time kisses. I miss having cuddles on demand and being able to wake to even more cuddles from his embrace. I had a cosy spot next to him and that no longer exists.

With having concerns about Eleanor and fretting that she will overheat, I now sleep with pyjamas and a night gown, to ensure while at the edge of the bed, I don’t freeze. As a cold fish, I don’t take too well to being pushed to the more isolated and cold side of the bed.

In my experience with co sleeping so far, I can’t say it is for me. There are some positives as I must admit I love having Eleanor so close and snug next to me, hearing and feeling her breathe as she sleeps and feeling our bond flourish. I know that she is close and love her being so, it makes my heart feel full and I beam with pride as I lie next to my daughter, knowing that I am her Mother.

21690763_1686484754757368_1905679931287797760_n However, my sleep is disrupted by the worry that surrounds her being next to me. I know, with my instinctive that she is well but I can’t help to continually wake from sleep to check on her and take note of her breathing. The risks of co-sleeping definitely have alarms ringing in my head and selfishly, I miss the relationship that I previously shared with my partner before this began.

I know with a newborn it is trial and error to begin with and that nothing will work out the way I wish it to. Certainly, with my experience nothing turns out as you would have hoped and you cannot really plan how life will be with a new baby. It is all well to hold expectations but in honesty, they don’t take shape.

I had expected that my baby would sleep in her own cot from the day we brought her home and no issues would arise, we would maintain a lifestyle similar to what we previously had and our personal relationship would not face change. I realize now that this was foolish.

Becoming a new parent is a learning curve, we all learn and grow daily and learn more about our baby as the days go on. Within time, I am certain we will find the perfect method that works well for each of us, we will find some form of balance and I will once again be able to sleep without worry.

No, the housework can’t wait.

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I have chosen to share my views today surrounding becoming a new Mother and juggling the daily household tasks and general maintenance around the home. Something I am sure that all Mum’s dread. I have decided to write about this as it plays a big part in my life, perhaps more so than it should. Or I should let it.

Housework, a drag to each of us on any regular day. Throw a baby (literally) into the mix and it becomes a race to complete the daily chores. You feel that it is never ending and these days, in my case.. it really is never ending. I find that I get through one lot of chores only to have to begin again. It is an endless and thankless task.

All too often, especially of late, I have been told that the housework can wait. That it will be there for another day, during this time period I should take it easy. Strangers when out shopping have even warned to take it easy. Weird, I know.

I should sleep when my baby sleeps. Take all the rest I can. In my experience, this is much easier said than done. It is all too easy to tell someone to rest or to sleep when they can. I, as a breastfeeding, mess obsessed, Mother of a two week old, cannot rest. I cannot go for a nap knowing that the bathroom is waiting be cleaned or that the bedding is to be stripped and washed. It is not my nature. I can only settle when all is in order.

I am definitely obsessed with mess and cleaning up, my obsession frustrates me and those around me. I hate being surrounded by clutter and the sign of a mess building up builds a great anxiety within and sends my OCD; obsessive compulsive disorder, into overdrive. I cannot simply leave things be, I must interfere. As soon as I notice any crumb or dog hair, I’m at it with the Dyson. No matter what time of the day (or night) it is.

 I  am a maniac for hoovering and have recently discovered that I can hoover as well as do a good surface wipe down as I breastfeed my baby. This is super convenient,  if not a little risky (there have been no accidents yet, Eleanor is fine, don’t worry)

I know that with a new baby, I should try to relax and catch some alone time. It is important, especially to take are of myself. Mess is imminent and cleaning up CAN wait, it is my mindset that cannot. I’m on edge knowing that I should be doing something. I do feel that I’m wasting my time when I’m on a manic clean spree and I do feel guilty that this is time where I could be lying with my baby and sneaking in some cuddles as she sleeps. There is simply so much else to be doing or worrying about. Life doesn’t wait and I am missing out on those precious little moments with Eleanor, I am very aware of this.

 

Yes, newborns don’t do very much and there is not so much to be missing out on. Though, I don’t catch every whimper, ever grimace, smile or even snore due to the fact I am running around trying to extend my capabilities and get whatever it is I must get done. Important or not. This still brings me guilt and I wish I could just relax push the over excessive anxieties aside and just take the time to chill and watch over my baby girl.

I simply cannot help this cleaning obsession I have been struck with. I don’t know when it really began, I suppose I’ve always been a neat freak and had set ways, I like things to be tidy and in place. If something is ever out of place, I have to fix it there and then. Dining table place mats, coasters, photo frames, I could go on.. and on. I just can’t relax when there is mess around. Some will perceive mess in a much different way than I do, what I think is messy doesn’t necessarily mean that everyone will.

I need to try to find a way to relax my mind and break this horrible habit. I don’t want to miss out on time I could be spending with my baby due to some crazy obsession. I know there is a happy medium out there and I know that mess isn’t the end of the world. I just have to work on chilling out and taking that little bit of extra time for myself, and for my baby girl. I need to work on this unhealthy routine I have got myself into and improve myself for the benefit of my baby, my family and finding the right balance. As far as balance goes.

Let’s be honest, spending the weekend worrying about the household chores is no way to be spending time with the family. Especially now, with Euan back at work and family time being so strained. I’ll post an update soon with my thoughts and how I am getting on as I try to break old habits and get into a healthy mindset. Here’s hoping come a little time I will be able to kick off those shoes, get my slippers on, and sit back with my family to embrace full relaxation mode – without eyeing up potential spots to polish!