Home is where the heart is. Valentine fantasies.

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Good afternoon guys! Okay, I admit that the title of this post may seem misleading, I best correct myself before setting you readers up for disappointment. This is no fifty shades of grey theme, you can keep your pants on. I am keeping things clean and talking about fantasies that as a family we hold for the future.

It is shrove Tuesday, pancake day as it is better known. A day to celebrate and eat my favourite food and just to mix things up, I recieved a Valentine bouquet from Euan a day early. With my favourite food day now combined with Valentins, I can only assume that this ought to be a good day.

I have woke on this day to some beautiful flowers delivered and a day is planned out with the main ladies in my life, my baby, my Mother and my sister. Galentines! With that in mind, I am feeling optimistic, high on love and plan to share with you bunch some recent topics of discussion in our household. Home is where the heart is.

Opportunities, higher wages, better quality of living, the great outdoors..we all strive and crave more. I mean, there has to be more to life than a 9-5 dead end job and British weather. Surely? There has to be a key to finding a happy work/life balance all while finding peace of mind too?

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We aim to find a place to reside that will bring us better prospects to raise a family and a place we can live minimally with access to a large variety of activities and opportunities. I would love to have three children one day, i grew up in a busy household and want to bring that chaos into a family of my own. A large family would mean a big move and many changes so that our children would have the best start that we can offer.

We hope to find a location with good education, health benefits and a healthy lifestyle, vitamin D on the occasion value for money and homes that we can only dream of. The grass isn’t always greener, no but in our circumstance,  we have nothing to lose in all honesty.

We dont seek much, nor do we have crazy expectations, we just crave a change that will bring something more, I don’t think it is wrong to want better and to do well and I think a fresh start would be welcome. I think we all want to start over from time to time. This time, we are willing to work to make that happen. No more pipe dreams.

During recent talks myself and Euan have decided that we wish to move away from home to raise our family. It’s been done many times by people in both better and worse circumstances and ther are plenty of success stories with regards to big moves with many folks saying once leaving home and finding settlement elsewhere, they have never looked back.

A move of any accord with a family is no small task, the way we see it, go big or go home. We have much research to do in regards to finding the right place for us to settle and see our children through school but with the information that is out there and the help available online, I’m certain we can come to an informed decision with location and area planning.

Once we are set with a base, we can then further explore our options and expenses. We can get estimates for the money we require to save and work our butt’s off to make life happen. I certainly feel it is time for big changes and a new climate. There is so much to life and this world away from this City.

As a family, we want and encourage new adventure, we want to live our best life together. I am sure all this planning and saving will be no easy task and bring plenty stress but together with the hopes of a better future in mind for ourselves and our family, we can achieve anything we wish.

Persevering and patience is key so it is a good job that I have left Euan at hand to do all the dirty work and the researching. I don’t cope so well with being patient, I only end up frustrated and upset. We don’t have time for that with all the planning and prep that must be done. I’ll simply take a back seat and advise on this occasion, the easy ride. No pun intended.

The Valentines hype has had us in a wee love bubble and brought us to some thoughts and new hopes. We have been thinking about our future and all that family life will hold, it has us both feeling motivated and excited which has led to this post and thought sharing with you all. We dont know where will be be five years from now but we have a plan to find a new place to call home and claim residence for the benefit of a happy family life. After all, family is the most important gift and to grow together with an ever flourishing relationship is what really matters. Happy Valentines everybody.

To you and yours, love always wins.

 

Keren.

Mum guilt; The real deal.

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It’s a funny old thing, you become a parent and all of a sudden you are no longer your own person, you are a Mother, a Father. You lose a sense of identity but gain a whole new realm of responsibility and love that you didn’t even know was capable.

The love for your baby, your child, is like no other. I have not experienced so much love nor emotions prior to the birth of my wee Eleanor. The best and the worst of myself has been put to light and I see the world from a whole new perspective.

I am not as easy going and care free as I once was and the world is now a scary place through the eyes of this over protective parent. I would like to focus this post on something that I have recently began to notice creep up on shopping trips or days out. A feeling that has rised from within and hits like a tonne of bricks ,a feeling that all you Mothers are well aware of.

Mum guilt. No matter what you do, it simply does not feel good enough. It is a losing battle where we are the sole contender.

Guilt, we all feel it, with the exclusion of active sociopaths, add a baby or child to the mix and guilt is suddenly intensified. What exactly is Mum guilt and where does it come from? It has seemed to appear out of the blue for myself and has prevented me from doing the things that I love and taking some time out for myself. Wether that be a half hour shut away to read, getting out for a lone walk or even (god forbid) having a day of pampering.

No matter what my intention lately, I always have a terrible feeling of guilt hang over my head, ready to exploit my mind with shameful thoughts whenever I dare put myself first. I feel that I have lost a sense of freedom and self worth since becoming a Mum, something which is quite hard to adapt to and take control of.

I no longer deem it acceptable to treat myself, not without fear that I should have treated my baby over myself. Do I need this? I ask myself this often. A shopping trip is short lived, and rather than taking items I pick out to the till, I return them to the rack or shelf which I plucked them from. I feel guilty for wasting money on myself no matter the sum. I could have utilised any spenditure on Eleanor rather than myself.

I find myself anxious of time and feeling bad for dragging my baby out just so I can pick up a carton of milk for myself or browse the stores when I could be at home, holding her, giving my undivided attention. I tend to get out but feel panic and pushed for time, I can’t relax for fear that she will want a feed or begin to get uncomfortable and cry.

Crying is perfectly normal for a baby to get attention and I know I have the security that she is always changed and fed before I take her out, I can’t help but feel unsettled at the thought of her crying in public. I always feel that it’s my fault for dragging her out and that I have led her to be unhappy for my own pleasure. Mum guilt.

I no longer indulge in any alcohol or nights out as I feel that my baby could need me at any time when I am apart from her. I just can’t leave her behind knowing that she is my responsibility and could need me at any time. I have reluctantly left her for no more than four hours with my Mother so that Euan and I can catch a screening at the cinema. This has only ever been around four separate occasions, a month apart at least.

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I can’t bring myself to leave her no matter who with or how capable they are. Knowing that Eleanor is so tiny and may need me at any time. I know that my baby is loved and nurtured and with that understanding , I must implicate healthy changes for the benefit of my own health.

I am not just a Mother, I am my own person with interests and needs that I need to fulfill every once in a while. It is important to take time for myself and my own sanity, i owe it to myself to give myself a break without feeling the need to explain and justify my actions.

With that in mind, I am off to the hairdresser next Saturday on a solo outing for a bit of me time and pampering. I am after a fresh dye job and cut, both much needed and long overdue. Oops, blame Motherhood on that one. Free time does not come freely.  A trip to the salon may not seem a big deal to many of you, I’d previously not have thought anything of it either but these days a little time out to spoil myself is a rare occasion.

Following this, we are going to see Stereophonics at the end of the month for a parents night out. How dare we? I’m absolutely looking forward to this and an evening out with my love, I fully plan to make the most of being child free, let my hair down and have fun. I have plans to go all out with a glass of wine in a plastic cup and greasy gig chips.

The last time we went to a gig together was back in July and I was heavily pregnant and spent most of the gig nursing a sore back. This time, I can make a better go at it and not retire early. I got this.

I’m sure that my Mum guilt will be in full swing but im going to really try to get myself into a good mindset and forget Mum duties for the night. It will be time for my partner and I to enjoy. Eleanor will be in capable, loving hands, I just need to let go, chill and live a little. If I can push the Mum guilt aside for even just one night, it will be a milestone itself.

I feel that as Mothers and Fathers, we put so much pressure on ourselves to be the best parents we can be, we get ourselves down when something doesnt go to plan or work out as we had hoped and we hold ourselves responsible for any setbacks, the guilt can be too much to take some days.It’s time to start pushing that unnecessary guilt trips that we love to drive down aside and putting ourselves first once in a while.

Book a pamper day, take yourself out for a coffee, set a date for a night out (and follow plans through) and for God sakes, buy the dress. Life is too short to spend it consumed with guilt, we all deserve a break once in a while.

Parenthood is hard, it is testing, it is wonderful. Let’s not be so hard on ourselves, our babies will still love us after a few hours without our company.

Keren x

Yes, babies cry. Deal with it (and love them hard)

I am writing this post having been inspired by a recent trip to the GP for concerns over the health of our baby daughter, Eleanor. A baby who has always been, in my opinion very vocal and dependent. I believe this to stem from her connection with me due to breastfeeding. I could be wrong.

My partner had suggested that we call the GP to make an appointment regarding an issue with our baby who seems to cry constantly and wriggle around in pain. Eleanor has reflux which is currently controlled by medication, however, some days not even medication seems to help.

I called the doctor to make an appointment for as soon as possible. I didn’t want Eleanor to be in pain but nor did I expect much was up. She was after all, just being her usual self.  Euan arrived home to attend the appointment, I discovered that we were taking the car to the GP which is a short distance from home, I became upset and wound up.

You see, this sounds silly but it’s tough for me to get out alone. I spend much of my time alone with her and a lot of this is spent indoors as it’s just too tricky to get out, especially with being in a first floor flat. If I want to go anywhere, there is a whole battle with the Pram getting down stairs and out the door before we even get moving.

Some days it isn’t worth the fight with Eleanor if she is in a particularly sleepy or in a grumpy mood. I find I don’t have the fight in me to battle through the cries very often, blame it on the lack of sleep.

It’s easier for me to simply just return home than to deal with the stares of strangers passing judgment as I still past with my baby screaming out from her Pram. I’m not cut out for public judgement, it brings a great deal of anxiety. So, with that mental image and sound of a babies cry echo through your eardrums, forgive me for getting upset having had my dream of five minutes in the fresh air, shattered.

What might not seem a big deal to some, can be a huge deal for others. Something which I have recently learned. We all handle things differently and lately, I feel like I can barely handle things at all. I spend most days alone and some times I feel as though I am losing my mind. Perhaps I am. Perhaps I lack social interaction.

I understand that my partner has work commitments but a five minute walk is not really going to make such a big difference to the working day when  opposed to three minutes in the car? I feel alone much of the time right now and the inability to get out can lead me to feel like I’m stuck in these four walls, all I wished for was my partner to take a short walk to the GP clinic with me. I was once very active and I crave to lead an active life again.

A life that has more challenging excercise to it than the constant bending to change nappies or emptying the tumble dryer. I need to walk, I need to have fresh air. Without it, I go crazy. I’ve given up on my fitbit for the moment as the step count became so pitiful, I felt ashamed to even track and document it.

Back to the GP, the reasoning of this post, I had a feeling that I knew what the doctor would say, having been in this position before. I’m usually lucky to get an appointment as its normally an automated phone service. Nonetheless, the story never changes and the outcome is always “babies cry, it’s a phase” or something along those lines.

I’m never taken seriously with the GPS and feel as though my worries are over looked and brushed off as though I am a mere hypochondriac. Even if I were, I would expect better care and time in the hands of the professionals than what they tend to give.

There was no answer. Babies cry and that’s just how it is. Some are more vocal than others yes, but it doesn’t mean that anything is wrong. It were suggested that we try control crying.. as if this would help with her round the clock cries. I wasn’t looking for answers of how to get my baby into a night sleep routine, and I didn’t want advice for control crying, I’d get more information from a book to be frank.

I wasn’t looking for anything actually,  I knew all too well how the appointment would go and knew that I would leave feeling stupid. My partner wanted this appointment as he was certain something was up. I merely booked it to prove a point and to show him that what I tell him when I call the GP each time is not a lie. I wanted him to see for himself how it goes. I wanted to prove my point and stamp my feet at the same time. My inner diva was out to play. I fear you not.

Some babies cry more so than others and they want held. This I know to be true with Eleanor. We were told that she was on the top dose for her reflux medication and to keep with this. When solid food becomes more frequent, her reflux should improve. Other than that, deal with the crying and just get on. If I felt it necessary, I could make an appointment to see the Health Visitor for advice on control crying but there was no cause for concern.

This was all said as I sat there choked up and crying spontaneously myself. I was crying because I was mad to have taken the car when I had hopes of fresh air. I was crying because I was drained, physically and emotionally. I was crying because this was the first outing of the week that involved human interaction  and it was now Wednesday afternoon.

I was mad at my partner, Euan for making me book an appointment to which I knew the outcome. I was told that he would get answers and yet here we are, no further than I have ever got before, Eleanor still crying.

I feel an element of guilt. Guilt that I can’t help my crying baby, I can’t take away her reflux and stop the back arching pain soar through her tiny body. I feel guilty that I want so desperately to have a break from her, even just for five minutes of peace. I feel guilty that I feel the need to have a break from her. As her Mother, I shouldn’t want a break from her. Should I?

I often can feel a whole lot of guilt and it seems that my best is never nor ever will be good enough. I ponder over thoughts about my parenting and I wonder if I’m a good Mother. I wonder if my Daughter knows how much I love her and I worry that I am incapable of the around the clock care she requires.

The Gp, I assume was left wondering who the appointment was initially made for. The sobbing mess of a Mother that I presented to her, or the baby sleeping in her car seat as though butter would not melt? Typical.

The thing is, the GP was correct, babies cry and all that we can do is hold them close and love them harder. It’s hard, it’s real tough, especially when you feel so hopeless and can’t help them take the discomfort of reflux away. Or even know the reason behind the cries. Is it reflux, teething, ear ache?

The guilt you feel along with the pain can be overbearing and overwhelming and I forget that as parents, we too are only human and we need to give ourselves a break and cut some slack or we will lose our minds. Its hard to always remain on top on situations and it’s hard to mimic what a baby wants at all times. Some days, there is just no pleasing these tiny humans.

I guess, I should be both grateful and thankful of Eleanor’s super dependent personality. I am lucky that I have my baby to hold and come time, I will look back and miss the cuddles and the closeness of my baby girl.

The days when I’m back at work and wish I could be curled up with her lovingly by my side at home, when she is a stroppy pre teen and I’m no longer cool enough to cuddle. I should take these moments to appreciate my ‘needy and vocal’ baby and love her as hard as I can all while embracing her before it’s too late and she no longer cares for the comfort of my company.

I hope that through weaning, the reflux will ease off. Our journey with food has only just began and we are still on select puree foods. I hope that when we venture into more tastes and textures, introduce baby led weaning her reflux will slowly disappear and we can forget about the difficulties that it has brought. Until then, I will continue to monitor and control it as best as I can with medication and a whole lot of baby cuddles. I hope that as she grows, she will become more independent and less reliant on myself, with this, the tears will stop too.

If you too have the struggle of a very vocal baby, don’t feel so alone. There’s always someone going through the same and there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.

We as parents are often too hard on ourselves and can be our own worst enemy, let’s be a little more appreciative of our efforts. After all, we are only doing our best and there are days that push the limits but we have to see past this. Take the good with the bad.

So here I am, sat on the sofa, same spot as always with a lukewarm cup of coffee, staring at a blank screen with a numb buttom from lack of movement,  preaching to all you parents out there, to take your baby and love them hard.

Keren x

We set the date!

Well, I must say that the year has been kind to us. The most special year I have had yet, the year we began the family adventure, the year we got engaged, the year life as we knew it changed forever. I have taken only the good from 2017 and will carry it with me for the rest of my life. It’s not every year you have your first child or get engaged!

To keep the trend going and end the year with a bang, we decided to take the plunge, set the date and book our wedding ceremony. We done this is all of two days may I add, with a baby in tow. Productivity at its finest.

With having the perfect date in mind, we already had a good idea of when we would wed, we just didn’t have the year in place. The fourth of September was our date of choice, already a special day for us as it is both our anniversary and the date of which we took Eleanor to have her birth registered. We thought to extend the day with another happy memory and add to it the day that we are to become husband and wife.

Euan called the office on Friday morning to check that the date was available for the coming year, 2018. They had the date free and we had the choice of time slot to attend. With it being a Tuesday, a funny day to marry.. we know, we went with an early afternoon slot. As the local registrar is a central location we wanted a time that it wouldn’t be rush hour so to speak and guests would have easy access to the venue.

Our ceremony will be small with only family in attendance. Euans parents and their partners, Euan’s grandparents and my parents. My side of the family will be outnumbered however, we decided that we didn’t want siblings or extended family at the ceremony. Small and sweet. Our witnesses will be our birth Mother’s.

To follow, we have booked a small room that can host up to twenty guests at the Carmelite in Aberdeen. We have a room from 5pm and will be greeted with some arrival drinks and finger foods for our wedding party before further guests arrive for the evening meal which will be a sit down three course job with drinks to follow for those who feel like having a few. We are aware it is a school night and people may want to leave promptly after the meal, we don’t expect a wild night by any accord. I don’t think I’d hack that to be honest.

Something I previously hadn’t planned on having however with the extended guests, we decided it would be best to host a meal where we can make special memories with our nearest and dearest. We have chosen specific finger foods and a set menu that will cater for everyone with a few minor adjustments to me carried out.

The room will be filled with just twenty of our guests with three children included. Though quite small, we will have just one rounded table for eating with guests and have decided to decorate the room with different chairs and a variety of colours and fabrics.

The room will have a quirky setting with lot’s of florals for the added bohemian vibes. I’m a big fan of anything floral and have even ordered myself a flower crown for the day rather than the classic veil.

I’m not giving too much away though, there are a lot of ideas out there and I’m still mulling over decor and styles without getting over the top or stepping into a territory of expense.

My dress is all set, it’s not a wedding dress by no accord and it is certainly not designer not expensive, but it’s a dress that was gifted to me several years ago that I have been desperate to wear, it just was never suited to a day trip to the shops or visiting my Mother. It’s a special dress that I have kept in my wardrobe with the tags still on waiting patient for the perfect occasion.

Come closer to the time, I’ll share a sneak preview with you all. Don’t worry. I’d love to share all with you bunch but I have to keep some level of suspense.

We did stick to our guns and keep it as a small affair as we have no need for a big day, all we wanted was a simple yet elegant day to cherish for years to come. I can’t believe when I marry I will be holding my baby girls hand the whole way through! What a privilege, I am certainly one lucky lady and a very proud Mother.

We have found wedding bands and sized ourselves up, with a click of a button we can have them ordered to suit. I have the fancy diamond band as an engagement ring, with a wedding band I have went as basic as you can go I want nothing more than a slim yet timeless platinum band to mark my commitment.

The invites are set to go and the venues are booked, now we just need to pull it all together and we are well on our way to celebrating our big day. There’s a lot of work going on with us behind the scenes and much planning to do – much more than I expected. The notebook is out, the ideas are in and I’m never off of etsy as I try to source ideas and material for the day.

Keep your eyes peeled for further posts and wedding updates, I’m sure there will be plenty and lots of big reveals on the way. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m off to plan for the big day and scour the net for some mini moon ideas. I’m thinking a City break for the three of us.

Lots of love,

Keren x

Stripping back on social media.

In an attempt to lead a life near free from social media, I have recently made some big changes to my online activity and personal online profiles. A step in the right direction.

I feel that in this day and age, we are so consumed by social media, our smartphones and forms of technology and following trends that we get from scouring the web. I feel that it can be overpowering and consume most of our daily lives. Sometimes we aren’t even aware of just how attached we have become to technology and the social media sites that have began to define us. Soon we won’t even need to step outside. Everything is done with the click of a button on our mobile or computers.

We buy things we don’t need influenced by what we see, what we read. I’ll put my hands up and admit defeat there. I’m a sucker for shopping, all I need is that little push and the debut card is out to play.

In an attempt to become less frequent on social media and step out from the realms of the online world, I have cut back my social accounts. I recently stripped my Instagram account almost bare, bar photographs that I hold close to my heart and removed anything about myself apart room my name in my bio. I removed followers and accounts that I follow. It trimmed it right back in a bid to start afresh. I suppose you could call it that. A fresh start.

My Facebook account is the only other activity I have online, I don’t use twitter and haven’t for years. My Facebook is only used to post the occasional photograph of Eleanor for the grandparents to see and to chat to my own Mother on messenger as she doesn’t do WhatsApp or texting. My Facebook account holds little friends, only the people I know and it is private so that not just anyone can have a nosey to see what’s going on in my life. I’d ideally be rid of Facebook, however, I need it at this time to communicate with some family and friends, especially those I’m not in touch with daily.

I felt that I didn’t want to share everything online anymore. Now that my teenage years are over and I am starting to establish myself as a Mother, I want to be able to use my free time to focus on my baby girl. To step away from my mobile phone, to get an escape from the online world of social media and just embrace the time that I have, here and now.

I want to get away from relying on social media to share images and messages, I know realise that I don’t need a specific number of likes on a photo to make me feel good. I don’t need others to approve of my daily activity. I don’t need to be influenced by what I see others do online. As a Mother, with my own family to focus on, I want to begin to be my sole influencer.

I want to take pride in myself and my family life witout the approval of online accounts. I wish to put social media behind me as much as I can (I was previously a big over sharer, something which I have recently cut back on). I don’t want my daughter to grow up and follow trends she views online, I don’t want her to see me scouring the Web from a young age. I want her to see me watching shows of interest, to see me bake, to read, to see me smile and laugh for real. Not to see my giggle over memes of Gemma Collins. Again, guilty.

I’ve decided to strip back and step away from social media. I’ve decided that I want to take the time to be with my daughter and my family and to really be with them. Not to be in another dimension online. My full attention has to be for my family and for myself. I wish my daughter to grow into a strong and self reliable individual who doesn’t need the influence of social media to path her as an individual.

On a bid to raise my daughter well and live a good family life, to find my happy balance, I am stepping away from. The world of social media and online accounts. This may seem extreme to some of you but the thing is, I don’t need these accounts,

I don’t need likes or praise from strangers online to make myself feel good and I certainly don’t want Eleanor to grow and feel that to be someone in this world and to feel recongnised she needs to rely on social media. I want to raise her to be an individual in her own rights and to be independent. She will find her own feet and her calling some day, and I hope that when she does, she wasn’t influenced by the world online.

I have been consumed by technology and the online world for too long. As a young girl, I grew up around Facebook and Instagram. I felt that to be recognised and to be wanted, you needed to have a set number of like son posts, or comments. You don’t. The oh person that you need to please is yourself. I aim to step away from social media platforms in a bid to find myself as a Mother, a daughter, and a friend.

Has anyone felt this same way, that we are all too consumed by technology and the opinions of strangers online? Have any of you taken a break from the world online, if so what did it bring to you?

Keren x

Living in a modern day society deprived of fulfilling basic manners.

  Manners are designed to acknowledge others but all too often I feel that we are failing to use our manners. We are too consumed with technology and caught up with ourselves. People have bumped into me and have not muttered a word, no apology.

I’ve had doors closed on my face, people queue jump a lift as I wait in line with my baby in her Pram, people fail to step out from a lift to allow me to pass. They stand and watch with judgement as I try to manoeuvre myself and the Pram out, desperate not to squish any toes. Though, if I happened to roll on any toes by accident,  of course it would be my fault and the blame be pinned on me, not the individual who lacked basic manners and failed to move out of the way.

We as people are now failing to say please and thank you when ordering their morning latte. Basic manners have slipped our minds. This is becoming an increasingly big issue and I worry that come time, there will be no sense of manners. Society will become a free for all and not one of us will look out for the other. Is this the way we want to raise our children? The next generation?

We as people, are failing to respect one another and respond appropriately to a small act of kindness, such as making room on the pavement for another to pass. Is it so difficult to say please, thank you, sorry? I was raised to have good manners and to use these at all times. To be kind,to have compassion and to help others in need. I never saw differently and like to believe that I always treat others respectfully, the way I would like to be treated. I find myself often disappointed at the lack of morals I share with others in our society. Perhaps I expect too much but believe me when I say that modern day manners are lacking in society.

On a recent walk during a Saturday afternoon with our dog,  we found a woman passed out beneath a park bench resting next to a river. Clearly intoxicated and in a bad way, we stopped to help and call for an ambulance. I don’t know how long she had been sprawled on the ground prior and have no indication of how she got there. I was afraid that she would tumble into the water and there would be no going back. As we were waiting for an ambulance to arrive, it became clear that we were the only people along a busy road to have the decency and sense to stop. That no other would bother. Not one person stopped to offer a hand. Heavily pregnant and with our dog in tow, we waited around an hour for help to arrive and watched in astonishment as passers by merely stared. With passing cars and pedestrians you would think that someone, even just one individual would stop and offer a hand. Again, I must have expected too much.

When help arrived, we were shunned and made to feel as though we shouldn’t have bothered to call for help. The ambulance crew did not mutter such as a thank you and the woman in need did not show a care in the world. I felt ashamed and was upset with this, we were made to feel as though we were wrong to have called for help. Had we not, would someone else have bothered, or would the woman have been left outside in the cold to perish?

Perhaps we are all losing our manners because our acts of kindness go unnoticed and seem unwanted. Why should we bother to help others, to say please and thank you if this is not well received?

Wether people were too embarrassed or afraid to stop or wether they simply could not be bothered, I don’t know. What I do know is that this woman could have came to find herself in a very bad way or even had died if left alone and not one person took the time to even just ask wether she was okay or offer a hand. Hypothermia, choking, drowning. The possibility of a life threatening issue arising was high and I didn’t want to take any chances.

I’d hate to imagine that was my gran who had taken a fall and was left to lay on the ground alone until someone could be bothered to see she were okay. Have we all become too consumed within ourselves and caught up in our own lives that we forget about others and fail to show respect, to show compassion?  Where are our manners?

When you open a door for someone you acknowledge their presence and the need for you both to use the door at the same time. Wether you nod, smile awkwardly or simply say “Thanks”, you return the acknowledgement. Don’t over complicate opening a door for another  with feminism or being a gentlemen, there isn’t any need. This is simply a door that requires opening and it’s rude to shut it in someone’s face. End of.

Have you offered help to an elderly lady across the street? Checked in on your parents, grandparents? These manners are a basic mechanism for those in society who are less able to protect themselves. Manners are not only for communication purposes, manners have the ability to protect others. To protect and care for vulnerable groups within our society. Groups that we are beginning to forget.

Manners are designed to offer fairness, to give each person an equal opportunity. We are taught to wait our turn in the queue, not to interrupt someone who is talking. These simple manners evolved so that everyone is given an equal chance and the opportunity to participate. Manners provide us with an element of fairness, equality and order.

Without manners it would simply be a free for all and who decides who comes first?  What’s to say that one person is more important than the person next to them? There are no barriers without manners. I’m afraid society is becoming more of a free for all and it is every man for himself. It’s a dog eat dog world for sure.

Manners are designed to reduce conflict and without these in place I fear that we will become over run with daily issues, big and small.

Think of all the recent times you have been annoyed at an individual. Maybe while driving your car, out on the weekly shopping trip, or even just walking in a crowded place. I could go on.There is a good chance that you were annoyed because the person who caused you to feel this way had failed to show basic manners. Failing to indicate when heading in a certain direction, failing to move out of your way as you try to squeeze your way through a busy crowd.

Manners should be used to reduce the strain between people in the same way that traffic lights are used to reduce accidents at crossings. With society failing to participate to meet standards, I am afraid that conflict among ourselves is becoming rife and this is a big problem.

Would you rather be treated with respect or treated rudely? People treated with a little respect and dignity are more likely to be positive toward you than if you treated them poorly. I think that this is something we all need to keep in mind and we must remind ourselves of our manners and the part that they play within society.

Next time you order your morning latte, remember to wait your turn in the line and to thank your barista.

Manners can make such a difference and even just having someone hold the door open for me can make my day. I’m going to ensure that my daughter is raised to have strong manners and good morals. She will be raised to grow to become a polite and kind woman, to have compassion and to have the ability to connect with others and offer help if required.

Society may be losing its manners, but I am sure not going to lose mine. These will be inflicted and influenced within my family and our household because I know just how important they can be and how important they can make you feel.

 I will not lose myself and the standards to which I was raised to a society that has become ignorant and thankless.

Let’s again pick ourselves up and raise our modern day standards for the greater good of our society. If we don’t act fast, I am afraid for the future of our generation and the generations that may follow.

 

  Thanks for reading,

 

   Keren x